Keenan Finally Found a Player He Couldn’t Bench

Wouldn’t some of the New York Rangers loved to have taken part in the Vancouver Canucks’ practice Tuesday?

Perhaps a few St. Louis Blues as well. Or any of those who once played for and learned to dislike Mike Keenan during his controversial years coaching various NHL clubs.

Wouldn’t they have relished the chance to smack the puck down the ice Tuesday considering who was filling in as a Canuck defenseman?

The 48-year-old Keenan, now the Canuck coach, put on pads and partnered himself with Gino Odjick during an hourlong scrimmage with 13 players.

“He looked like Chris Chelios,” Odjick said. “He skates like Chelios. And he uses his stick like Chelios.”

Said Keenan: “I tried to bench myself, but they wouldn’t hear of it. There were too many opportunities to take a shot at me.”

There’s still controversy in New York, Keenan’s last place of employment. But now they have a new target. Keenan’s successor, Colin Campbell, was fired Wednesday.

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Add Odjick: Shortly after the Gulf War, Odjick, who has long been known as one of the league’s tough guys, was back on the Canuck bench after having been involved in a fight.

One of his teammates leaned over and said, “The only guy tougher than you is Saddam Hussein.”

Odjick, according to the story that was told and retold around the league, scanned the ice, than looked back at his teammate and asked, “Which guy is Saddam Hussein?”

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Trivia time: If the trade of 6-foot-11 Rony Seikaly to the Utah Jazz had held up, it would have given the Jazz a center who averaged 17.3 points and 9.5 rebounds last season. Karl Malone and John Stockton first played together for the Jazz in 1985. In how many seasons since then have they had a starting center who averaged double figures in scoring?

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She’s the Great One in this group: The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has an addition this year--men.

Besides its usual trove of barely covered models, the magazine includes seven “hot couples,” including Wayne Gretzky and his wife, Janet Jones.

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Add swimsuit: Reacting to Sports Illustrated, The Sporting News offers the anti-swimsuit issue: a cover featuring a burly football player wearing a bikini.

“It’s a spoof on Sports Illustrated, but also a little bit more of a comment about the fact that a lot of sports fans don’t want swimsuit issues,” said John Rawlings, editor of The Sporting News.

The Sporting News anti-swimsuit cover is for newsstand buyers only.

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Losing and gaining: Upon arriving in Nagano, Japan, Brett Hull of the U.S. Olympic hockey team complained about the spartan accommodations of the Olympic village.

“I’ll miss things like . . . being able to go through 80 channels,” Hull said. “That’s why they invented books and crossword puzzles and CD players and . . . beer.”

At least Hull won’t have to worry about that anymore. With his team eliminated from the Olympic tournament, he gets to come home and watch his 80 channels, while others have to remain there with nothing to look forward to other than a possible gold medal.

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Trivia answer: None.

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And finally: It took a few trips north of the border for Jones to realize just how much a superstar Gretzky was.

“I knew Wayne was great,” she said, “but, the first couple of times I went to Canada with him, I felt like I was walking around with Michael Jackson.”