Cowboy Boots Just Aren’t Suitable
Today marks the debut of Fashion Police, a weekly column in which we answer your questions and discuss your observations about clothes, beauty and accessories--with brutal honesty. We’ll also be on the lookout for serious crimes of fashion, which will not go unpunished.
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Dear Fashion Police: What’s your opinion on wearing cowboy boots as a replacement for everyday footwear? Also, what about wearing boots with suits?
--BORED WITH SHOES
Dear Bored: Whoa, pardner! Have y’all been watching “Dallas” reruns lately? We can’t imagine where you’d get the notion of wearing cowboy boots--unless you’re in the rodeo circuit or cleaning horse stalls at some dude ranch. Think about it--when was the last time you saw a man in a business suit wearing cowboy boots? Maybe 1984? We don’t know what business you’re in, but put on a pair of cowboy boots and we guarantee that your co-workers and clients will think you’ve dropped into a scary fashion time warp.
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Dear Fashion Police: Is it just me and the age I was brought up in, or are we getting so informal that a new pair of blue jeans constitutes dressing up? There was a time when, if you couldn’t afford the clothes, you couldn’t afford to go out. I feel this has all gone by the wayside. I feel embarrassed for these people. Am I wrong or old-fashioned about all this?
--CONFUSED IN THOUSAND OAKS
Dear Confused: You are neither wrong nor old-fashioned. We are continuously making arrests for major infractions such as wearing jeans, T-shirts and filthy sneakers at nice restaurants, concert halls and museums. Unfortunately, the lawless society in which we live has become more and more casual, fueled, in part, by the phenomenon known as “dress-down Friday”--which never was supposed to mean Marilyn Manson tank tops and leather pants.
What is equally deplorable is that dressing up doesn’t even have anything to do with economics anymore. Discount stores and outlets have made it possible to dress very well without spending a lot of money. A good friend of ours found a pair of Dolce & Gabbana pants for $32 and a Jhane Barnes sweater for $19 at a Barneys New York outlet! But that’s another story.
You should feel embarrassed for these people, since they obviously don’t feel embarrassed themselves. What to do? Since you’re not in a position to arrest anyone (remember, only we can do that), we suggest a pointed sneer and a roll of the eyes.
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From the Fashion Police Blotter: Seen the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue yet? We’re well aware that this annual parade of flesh has as much to do with fashion as Playboy’s lingerie magazines, but come on. With a plethora of models in butt-baring thongs and topless bikinis, the swimsuits seem superfluous. But we have to issue a citation to the person who came up with the notion of posing supermodels with Maasi warriors. What a kooky idea! At least the villagers had enough sense to charge the SI crew $1,000 cash for their trouble.
* When reporting or preventing a fashion crime, write to Fashion Police, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053, or fax to (213) 237-0732. Submissions cannot be returned. No telephone inquiries, please.
