Psych 101
Doubt the lingering power of words? Listen to a partial list of “22 of the Worst Things an Adult Ever Said to a Child”--phrases compiled from an informal survey of adults in the recently published “The Parent’s Little Book of Lists” (Health Communications Inc.), by Jane Bluestein.
* “You’ll never amount to anything.”
* “I wish I’d never had you.”
* “You’ll never be college material.”
* “Why can’t you be more like your (brother or sister)?”
* “Your mother and I wouldn’t be getting divorced if it weren’t for you.”
* “I’m sorry you didn’t play, but we needed to win the game.”
* “I love you, but . . .”
Thankfully, the adults also remembered the best things adults said to them:
* “You can do anything you choose to do.”
* “You’re very smart.”
* “I’m so glad we’ve got you.”
* “Congratulations! You deserve this!”
* “You’re beautiful.”
* “You’re more responsible than a lot of adults I know.”
* “I believe in you.”
* “I love you.”
Have trouble saying the “L-word” to a child? Try some of the “8 Things to Remember About Saying I Love You”:
* Say it often.
* Don’t expect kids to say “I love you, too.”
* Keep it unconditional.
* Write it down and leave the message under your kid’s pillow.
* Look in the mirror and say it to yourself. Mean it.