New ‘Kids’ Lacks Old Show’s Spontaneity

Kids used to say the darndest things. But no more, judging by the premiere of a CBS series hoping to mimic segments of that old daytime show “Art Linkletter’s House Party,” in which little kids would tell him just about anything that popped into their heads.

Now they were funny. And you catch a bit of that tonight in some clips from that oldie introduced by Linkletter himself.

Paving the way for this series were the high ratings of two “Kids Say the Darndest Things” specials. Yet kid interviewing is very fragile stuff, and the very slight humor produced by this new batch of kids is overshadowed by the mugging of Bill Cosby, who has succeeded Linkletter in this role, and is overwhelmed by the huge laughter (seemingly from the studio audience) greeting every line emerging from these young mouths.

Cosby to kid: “How do you know a fish is dead?” Kid: “Doesn’t move.” Ho, ho, ho.

Cosby to kid: “Who is the boss in your family?” Kid: “My mother.” Ho, ho, ho.

Compare these newcomers with the earlier kids, one of whom we see tonight responding to Linkletter’s question about Bible stories by saying that God expelled Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden and sent them to purgatory after taking them “to the airport.”

Although we’re told that the kids, ages 6 and 7, appearing on the new show are not professional actors and have not been rehearsed or told what to say, they surely have been pre-interviewed, with Cosby having at least some idea of what’s coming--else, for example, he would not ask a boy tonight what he’s seen his parents doing in bed. Don’t worry, it’s all G-rated. And as TV-savvy children, these new youngsters understand they are performing before a camera and a studio audience that appears to be several hundred strong.

Hence, much of what they say seems mannered (one boy says he wants to be a fortuneteller and Bill Gates’ partner when he grows up) and lacking the spontaneity of the earlier kids with Linkletter. And the new host should be reminded that the name of the show is not “Cosby Says the Darndest Things.”

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* “Kids Say the Darndest Things” premieres at 8 tonight on CBS (Channel 2). The network has rated it TV-G (suitable for all ages).