It Might Have Been the Best Game No One Ever Saw

You could virtually hear a pin drop when when the Nelsonville-York (Ohio) High basketball team played host to Hemlock Miller last Tuesday night.

There were no cheerleaders, no pep bands and no fans. Last fall’s football game between the teams was suspended after a fight broke out at halftime as the players were leaving the field.

To prevent a recurrence, school administrators barred fans and media from the basketball game.

It is rumored that Nelsonville-York won the game.

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL postseason record for rushing yards in a game?

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To dunk or not to dunk? New York Knick forward Buck Williams on how his coach juggles lineups:

“It’s more difficult for Jeff Van Gundy. He has so much talent. It would be like sitting there with 12 Shakespeares on the bench. Which one are you going to use night in and night out?

“If you had eight Shakespeares and, I don’t know, four sportswriters, it makes it easier.”

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Polarized: Isiah Thomas, the former all-star guard of the Detroit Pistons and now an NBC-TV analyst, comparing the coaching styles of Pat Riley and Phil Jackson to Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune:

“[They] have two styles that are contrasting and colliding. Everything the [Detroit] Bad Boys were, New York became, and now Miami. I think Phil believes in motivating more through spirituality where Riley motivates more through intimidation.”

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Work project: Washington Wizard Coach Bernie Bickerstaff after 7-foot-7 center Gheorghe Muresan had a cast removed from his ankle:

“It probably took them six weeks to take the cast off, he’s so big.”

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Novel ambition: J.T. Hayes, 35, a former sprint-car and midget racer, on undergoing a sex change and becoming Terri O’Connell:

“I not only wanted to be A.J. Foyt. I wanted to be Marilyn Monroe.”

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Cheese-mania: Some items that are made to appeal to die-hard Green Bay Packer fans:

Packer cheese slicer ($11.95), large cheesehead ($19.95), cheese baseball cap ($10.95), cheese cowboy hat ($19.95), cheese earrings ($6.95), cheese football ($11.95), and for the best-dressed Cheesehead, a cheese bow tie at $8.95.

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The Big Cheese: Speaking of the Packers, it’s no bulletin that they get their inspiration from quarterback Brett Favre.

“I want to make the play, make the big catch, the big tackle, the big interception, the big block, the big run,” the three-time MVP said. “That’s the way I approach every game. And if it calls for throwing off my knees or off my back, I’ll do it.”

And what’s it like to be his coach?

“He ages me every day,” Mike Holmgren said. “He also gives me great joy. It’s like one of my kids, really. But I’m glad he doesn’t live with me.”

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Trivia answer: Eric Dickerson of the Rams, 248 yards against Dallas in 1985.

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And finally: From the Easy Reader of Hermosa Beach: “A really big customer autographed a $100 bill before giving it to Kettle waitress Jenny in payment for his $17 check.

“ ‘Keep the change,’ he told her. Jenny thanked the stranger and the next day gave the C-note with the unpronounceable name written on it to her mother, who deposited it in the bank the following day.”

If you’re curious, Shaquille O’Neal lives in the area and frequents its restaurants.