Some Actors Will Do Anything for Publicity

Here’s a traffic problem that has probably never plagued Dubuque, Iowa. KNX reported that near a film shoot in Temescal Canyon in Pacific Palisades, drivers were slowing down to look at a bystander--an out-of-work actor who had propped a giant cutout of his head on the roof of his car.

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AND YOU THOUGHT SMOG WAS BAD: Jim McNally was unaware of any nuclear plant disasters in the area but you couldn’t blame him for wondering after noticing that an L.A. detailer promises to rid cars of “fallout” (see accompanying). “Road film” is another cleanup category, which is understandable with Hollywood being so close. The language in the road film “Thelma & Louise” was shocking.

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NO RESERVATIONS NEEDED: Dr. Arthur Wisot found a dining room in the South Bay where the table must be extremely small (see photo).

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BUT ARE THEY HOUSEBROKEN? “Considering many of the teens I have met, neutering seems like a good idea,” opined Dave Turner of Redondo Beach, who sent along an unusual classified ad (see accompanying). “Anyway, the price seems right.”

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LONG REACH, CALIF.: In a column on the threat posed by China, the New York Times’ William Safire casually mentioned the possibility of that nation achieving “a beachhead in Long Beach, Calif.” Long Beachites might have mixed emotions about the honor of being singled out, but it was another illustration of how their city--once dismissed as “Iowa by the Sea”--has an uncanny knack for showing up in major news stories.

After a former Long Beach resident was arrested for the murder of five people on a Long Island, N.Y., train, the Long Beach Press-Telegram wrote a story headlined, “What’s Behind LB’s Link to Disasters?” (It concluded that it only seems as if Long Beach is linked to every disaster.)

Among other newsmakers, Paula Jones lives in Long Beach. In an obituary of Frank Sinatra, I noticed that his widow, Barbara, grew up in Long Beach. So did one of the hottest actresses around--Cameron Diaz. Not to mention Snoop Doggy Dogg. Dr. Jack Kevorkian worked in the city for three years.

And I read that the former owner of a chain of doughnut shops in Long Beach is running for political office as the leader of the Free Development Republican Party. Naturally, I came upon this fact in the middle of a story about politics in Cambodia.

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A PLACE TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL: Did you hear that a jury of scholars chose “All the King’s Men” by Robert Penn Warren as one of the 100 best English-language novels of this century? That’s the book loosely based on the life of Louisiana’s Huey Long. My favorite part is where the narrator becomes so weary over corrupt politics that he jumps into his car in Baton Rouge, heads west and doesn’t stop until he reaches--what’s the name of that city?--oh, yeah, Long Beach.

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THE COSMETIC IMPLICATIONS: Paula Jones reportedly got a nose job the other day, prompting comic Jay Leno to say that, among people involved in the Clinton investigation, she’s the only one whose nose hasn’t grown.

miscelLAny:

Several readers responded gallantly to the query here about the song that inspired L.A.’s old Zamboanga restaurant (“Home of the Tail-Less Monkeys”). The lyrics go something like: The monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga/The monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga/The monkeys have no tails/They were chewed off by the whales/The monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga.

Eric Visnowski remembers Groucho Marx singing it in a pith helmet while Nanci Vernon recalls Beaver Cleaver warbling it in an old baseball cap. No word on the composer of the ditty (if, indeed, anyone would admit to writing it).

Steve Harvey, who served in the National Guard in Long Beach, can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.