In Conclusion, the Candidate Loses It

Election ’98 Concession Speech, First Draft:

“Good evening, dear friends and trusted supporters. Tonight, we reach the end of a long road and a difficult journey that began more than a year ago in my living room. On that night, we pledged to run a campaign for better government, inspired change and a brighter future for us all. Tonight, our quest ends somewhat short of victory, but we are not defeated. Yes, the road has been long and the journey difficult, but that does not mean our trip has been unrewarding, or without purpose. Rather, as we’ve looked into the eyes of thousands of young and old alike, and then listened to what they had to say, we know that they want what we want--to live in a place that . . . .”

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Concession Speech, Second Draft:

“Good evening, friends and supporters. Tonight, we reach the end of an unbelievably long journey that began last year in my living room. On that night, we pledged to run a tough and fair campaign, and let the voters decide. We have done that. Indications tonight, however, are that the voters did not respond to our message as we’d hoped. In a great democracy like this one, there may be many reasons for that--some of them rather suspicious--but rest assured that no one can fault your effort or intentions. Instead, let’s be proud of what we’ve accomplished and set our sights on . . . .”

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Concession Speech, Third Draft:

“Good evening, friends. Tonight we reach the end of a campaign that, quite frankly, began eating on me a long time ago. And now, with our worst fears realized, it’s hard not to reflect on that night more than a year ago when we sat in my living room and dared to think great thoughts. Well, we see how all that big talk turned out. We told ourselves that winning or losing wasn’t important, that what counted was our message. I guess we said a lot of things that night, didn’t we? Still, this isn’t the time for . . . .”

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Concession Speech, Fourth Draft:

“Hi, there. I see the smirks. Go ahead, make your petty little jokes. But you know what, you’re right. What can I say? I ran, I got steamrollered. I got some bad advice.”

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Concession Speech, Fifth Draft:

“Ready? Not a whole lot to say, other than, ‘Would someone please turn down those damn TV lights! I’m going blind up here.’ As most of you realize, it’s over. Everything we have worked for is shot. Don’t ask me why, but my thoughts go back to that evening more than a year ago in my living room when a bunch of you came over and convinced me, despite my better judgment, to run for office. In retrospect, perhaps it would have been better if there’d been less drinking that night and a little more clear, logical thought. You’ve heard it said that nobody loses when the truth is told. Fine. Tell that to my bank account. If I sound bitter, I’m sorry. Listen, the next time you have big ideas . . . .”

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Concession Speech, Sixth Draft:

“May I state the obvious? I’m a loser. Tonight, a campaign that has bled me dry and wiped out a year of my life has ended. At least no one got killed. My consolation is no more blank stares from people when I talk about the future, no more idiot paid staffers telling me what a swell guy I am and then laughing behind my back. To all of you who said on that first night in my living room, ‘We’re going all the way!’ I have just one thing to say: I need cash, and I need it now. And as for the voters who in their wisdom selected my opponent, I can only shake my head and wonder what the . . . .”

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Concession Speech, Final Draft:

“It’s getting late, I’m cranky as hell and, obviously, nobody really cares what I have to say, so I won’t keep you long. I really intended to be gracious and thank a lot of people, and yet as I stand up here alone--and I mean all alone--I find myself dwelling more on the back-stabbing front-runners who bailed on me weeks ago when things started going sour. Without them, I couldn’t have been humiliated in this election to the extent that I have been. To them I say: Thanks for reducing me to a historical oddity. Plus, who knew voters were this dumb? If I’d been beaten by a person of substance chosen by an electorate that knew which end was up, I’d probably feel a whole lot better about things. But to lose like this, and now have to come out here and face you sorry group of lowlifes--this has to be the worst moment of my life. And yet, clearly there is unfinished business to attend to. So, dear friends, should the opportunity arise to run again in 2000 . . . .”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com