Pint-Sized Punch Lines

* What monster drives a van at night? A van-pire. (Juvenal Delgado, 11, Los Angeles, Berendo Middle School)

* Why did the man chop the rabbit in half? It needed a hare cut. (Cindy Sandoval, 10, Pacoima, Telfair Avenue Elementary)

* What has three feet but can't walk? A yardstick. (Jason Luong, 11, Los Angeles, St. Thomas Aquinas School)

* What kind of homework do clocks do? Times tables. (Anthony Albert Marquez, 10, Azusa, Paramount Elementary)

* Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was after it. (Fabian Rodriguez, 7, Anaheim, Abraham Lincoln Elementary)

* Why couldn't the dog move? It was pet-rified. (Emma Kragen, 8, Los Angeles, Mirman School)

* KIDS, GOT A JOKE? Send it to Pint-Sized Punch Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053. Print (or type) your full name, age, hometown and school. Please note that we try to avoid jokes we've published before. And please be patient.

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