Blond Ambition Gets Best of Everyone but the Coach

If viewers in Bucharest spent 90 minutes Friday night fiddling with the knobs on their television sets, it wouldn’t surprise anyone. Chances are, they just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the color contrast that made all Romania’s players appear blond.

Well, the TV sets were fine. It was the players who had changed color. The entire team dyed its hair a bright yellow, much as the Colorado Rapids had done earlier this Major League Soccer season.

It made for a bizarre sight, and who knows what the Tunisians must have thought, but at least they could recognize one player. Romanian goalkeeper Bogdan Stelea did not join the color brigade.

And for good reason. Stelea is bald as a billiard ball.

Which is the exact reason Coach Anghel Iordanescu wore a baseball cap on the sideline Friday. He wouldn’t dye his hair, but he agreed to shave it off, then couldn’t bring himself to go out in public that way.

WHAT A COMBINATION

One of England’s many rabble-rousing tabloids--no names, please--offered its readers a prayer mat of sorts Friday so that they could help the team in its game against Colombia.

It consisted of a photographed patch of green turf divided by the cross of St. George, with circles indicating where to kneel and where to place a beer.

The tabloid said readers should place the mat in front of their television sets and, if the need arose, “get down on your knees, place beer in area provided and pray.” Bird cages all over England have some new lining no doubt.

WHAT WAS ALL THAT TALK ABOUT?

The latest to contribute to the unfortunate quotes collection is Carlos Valderrama of Colombia.

“Once we have run the English into the ground with ‘chase the ball,’ then we will go for the throat and they will be on their way home on Saturday morning,” the Miami Fusion player said.

Look for Valderrama on a flight to Florida today.