A Response That Went to Writer’s Head

A few weeks ago, this column published Don Lehti’s photo of a sign that said, “Resurfacing Heads.” Well, Only in L.A. obviously gets around. Lehti, a retired minister, told me that he has since been contacted by a reader in Tucson who wants to put the photo on the wall of her office. And where does she work? At a mental health clinic.

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WHILE WE’RE COUNTING HEADS . . . : I’m not only returning that shot to Lehti but I’m including a second one, by Bill Givens of L.A. (see photo), as a companion piece.

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STRIKE THAT STORY! The other day, I mentioned the unique matchbooks at the Alameda Inn, which say, “Skid Row Food at Biltmore Prices.” The new owners explained that the items had been printed for the previous owners and were supposed to say, “Biltmore Food at Skid Row Prices.” Someone had goofed.

Well, I heard a different story from the previous owner, Bella Fazekas, who operated the Alameda Boulevard eatery with her husband, Andrew, for 39 years.

“It was a joke,” Fazekas disclosed. “We thought it would be funny to reverse it on the matchbooks to see if any of the customers noticed.”

She added: “Hardly anyone did.”

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MORE STORMY SEAS: This column’s readers always seem to notice things. Recently, for instance, I reported that Boating magazine criticized a scene in the movie “Titanic,” in which the officer at the helm is told to “turn hard to starboard” (or right), but instead turns to the left.

Several people e-mailed me that the scene was correct because ships were constructed back then so that you turned the wheel in one direction to make the ship go in the opposite direction.

But . . .

Still more readers, George Dergiman, Alison Michener and Chris Schlieter, then criticized me for correcting my correction. Dergiman pointed out that when the helmsman turned the wheel to the left, “in the next shot the ship is shown actually turning left and hitting the iceberg on the ship’s starboard (right).”

What? The ship hits an iceberg? That’s the last time I go out for popcorn in the middle of a movie.

I’m turning the matter over to Kenneth Starr.

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MAKE ROOM FOR MOM: A while back, Paul Kikuchi of Pasadena contributed a photo of a parking lot sign that said: “Expectant Mothers Parking Only.” I am informed that it has been taken down. But Herb Berkus of L.A. found a sign with even more special provisions in Dayton, Ohio (see photo). One question: How many months after the child arrives can a woman still claim to be a “new mother”? Would it include women who say they remember giving birth as if it were yesterday?

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GOING POSTAL: “Better mail real early” was the advice of Faye Ireland of L.A. after reading the dates on the accompanying sign (see photo).

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AN UNRESURFACED HEAD: The fact that a mental health clinic wants an Only in L.A. photo pumped up my ego, no doubt. Then I received a note from Lillian Birrell of Santa Barbara, who asked if I’d ever had the occasion to turn my column photo upside down.

When she did so, she explained, “I noticed an amusing thing.” A new mug shot materialized, “albeit not as flattering.” As guides, she labeled three parts of my inverted photo thusly: “Mohawk Haircut,” “Pug Nose,” and “Fat Lip(s).”

Well, at least I’d have hair(s).

miscelLAny:

Some youngsters were attending a classical music show at the L.A. Central Library. The violinist, seeking to establish rapport with the visitors, broke into a bit of “Yankee Doodle Dandy” and asked if anyone knew the name of the song. Several kids responded: “The theme from ‘Barney’!”