CSUN Meeting a Call for Action by Black Women

Leslie Small immediately considered his own romantic life when organizers of the fourth Black Women’s Conference at Cal State Northridge asked him to host a workshop called “How to Love a Black Man (Without Compromising Yourself).”

“I thought, ‘How do you love someone like me?’ ” said Small, a doctoral candidate in urban economic development at USC. “And the best answer I could come up with was: from a distance.”

Small got a big laugh from the 50 or so women in attendance. But the discussion soon turned serious. With 40% of black men between the ages of 20 and 29 either incarcerated or on probation, Small said the question of how to love a black man isn’t just about sex.

With the criminal justice system, drugs and other troubles afflicting African American men, Small said, there are 20 black women for every available black man.

The workshop was part of a daylong event that urged participants to take action, rather than just complain about problems in the African American community. It marked the return of the conference to the Cal State Northridge campus after a year’s absence.

“For African American women, it is critical to understand that we are not at the table making decisions, we are outside reacting to those decisions,” said former Oakland City Councilwoman Deizie Woods during a workshop on politics.

If progress is to be made, said Woods, black women need to vote, encourage others to vote, give money and volunteer time to political campaigns, and consider running for office themselves.

“It is so important to stay motivated,” said LeiLani Lemle, 20, director of programming for the conference. Lemle, an electrical engineering student at CSUN who brought her year-old daughter, Elani, hadn’t slept since Thursday.

“My mom asked me how I was doing it between taking my daughter to day care and school and this conference,” said Lemle. “I think it’s just helping to remind me what my goals are: getting a good job, being able to provide for my daughter so she isn’t struggling to get through school like I am.”

For the women who gave up a flawless sunny Saturday to spend indoors, the day was an opportunity for personal renewal.

“I’m working toward being a strong black woman, and the speakers and workshops are showing me the different steps I need to take to make that happen,” said Leana Smith, 18.

Her fellow CSUN freshman, Tanisha Lyons, said conferences for black women are a way to meet new people and stay focused.

“It always seems to help reaffirm the values, and the reasons I am in school,” said Lyons, 18.

Gail Smith, 41, said the messages she heard hit home.

“I have a daughter who is in college and a 19-year-old son who has been in and out of the criminal justice system since he was 17,” Smith said. “They were raised the same way. I think the system set him up to fail.”

Small said it is impossible to separate politics from personal relationships. And, indeed, the topics of the day seemed to overlap.

“If we want to know how to love a black man,” said Small, “We have to figure out how to change our community.”