A Case When Art Imitates Life?

If this doesn’t beat all. Writer Steve Herbert informs me that he read in the Hollywood Reporter about a new movie titled . . .

“Only in L.A.”

Of all the stories to get scooped on.

The movie is described as the story of six friends “who live out the trials and tribulations of being single in Los Angeles.”

I can’t remember if I had an item like that in the column so I’m holding off filing the inevitable lawsuit. Also, I want to see how many dueling signs, “Duh!” awards and bad one-liners appear in the movie.

IF THE MAN SAYS NO, YOU HAVE TO GO: Sports Illustrated reports that basketball icon Michael Jordan has a private hideaway before games in Chicago’s United Center and turns down most requests from visitors wanting to enter. Among the rejected, the magazine said, was Johnnie L. Cochran Jr.

HARD SELL? It appears that a Burbank mortuary has put up an extra sign just to make sure you get the idea about its service (see photo). Actually, the “Dead End” warning is on the wall of an adjacent YMCA.

MOVING ON TO TV GRAVEYARDS: There is, of course, much anticipation about the farewell episode of TV’s “Seinfeld.” But how about a few moments of silence (certainly not applause) for TV’s monumental failures? What about the series whose farewell episode was also their first? Here are five that were canceled after one showing:

* “Public Morals” (1996, CBS), a comedy about vice cops.

* “South of Sunset” (1993, CBS), a detective show starring Eagles singer Glenn Frey.

* “Melba” (1986, CBS), a sitcom starring Melba Moore.

* “Turn On” (1969, ABC), a comedy/variety show from “Laugh-In” producer George Schlatter.

* “You’re in the Picture” (1961, CBS), a game show hosted by Jackie Gleason in which celebrities would stick their heads through cutout holes of paintings and, by asking questions, try to guess the identity of the artwork. Gleason apologized on TV for the show the next week.

TRASHY SURVEY: Just to get in the spirit of graduation time, Bruce Rothschild offers a snapshot he took several years ago at Cal State Long Beach in which students were seemingly given an opportunity to comment on the value of their education (see photo).

NO WONDER THE PADRES ARE SAILING ALONG: Former Dodger catcher Carlos Hernandez told an interviewer that his life had “turned 200 degrees” since he was traded to San Diego.

Fine. But wouldn’t that put him in the Pacific Ocean?

MODERN MARVELS: Did you hear the Southwest Airlines ad boasting nonstop service from LAX to Las Vegas? It’s about time! I really hated the traditional stopover in Needles.

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Ignoring the Oscars, UCLA’s Daily Bruin holds its own award competition every May. Students are casting votes in such categories as “Most Overplayed Song,” “Worst Performance,” “Coolest Dead Person,” “Too Cool for Orange County,” “What Sex Is the Blockbuster Baby?” and “Who Should Play Monica Lewinsky in the Made-for-TV Movie?” Nominees for the last category are Shannen Doherty, Janeane Garofalo, Ginger Spice, Demi Moore, Roseanne and Leonardo DiCaprio.

Steve Harvey can be reached for movie roles by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.