Punch Lines

Twin Psalms: NBC is planning a miniseries on the Bible. “Most Hollywood types think Psalms is a New York restaurant.” (Alex Kaseberg)

A Vote for Viagra: About 64% of Americans say they know what Viagra is used for. “The other 36% think it’s a pill a young man would take if he wanted to become president of the United States.” (Bill Williams)

What’s in a Name?: Anticipating that eventually it will be sold over the counter, Viagra’s manufacturers are searching for a more marketable name. “It hasn’t been easy since ‘Stick-Ups,’ ‘Big Mac’ and ‘Magic Johnson’ are already taken.” (George Raymond)

Viagra Vengeance: Kathie Lee Gifford reportedly has put hubby Frank on Viagra. “Unfortunately, just being in the same room with her acts as an antidote.” (Ira Lawson)

Homework: A British tabloid has a video of Jerry Springer in bed with a porn actress and her stepmom. “Poor guy. Stuck taking his work home with him.” (The Daily Scoop)

Boy, oh, Boy: In a letter to the London Express, Boy George wishes George Michael “strength at this time because when push comes to shove, we are sisters under the same skin.” “You go, girl . . . I mean, Boy.” (The Daily Scoop)

Putt-Putts: “Not to be outdone by the Chrysler Corp.-Daimler-Benz merger, Geo, Metro and Yugo are considering a merger to manufacture quality golf carts.” (Earl Hochman)

Night, Night: The Emmys will last four hours this year. “Not to be outdone, the Oscars will become a miniseries.” (Zack Taylor)

Beat the Clock: O.J. Simpson said he’s been working out and is in really good shape. “He’s determined to beat his old record of six minutes from the Bundy crime scene to Rockingham.” (Argus Hamilton)

Stomp ‘n’ Shop: The new Godzilla will have male and female sex organs. “It’ll not only stomp on New York, but will shop at Macy’s as well.” (The Daily Scoop)

Hiya Pops: According to a new study, 20% of men do not know how to put on a condom. “You know what you call these men? Dad.” (Jay Leno)

Buddy Bussed: “Did you see that photo of President Clinton kissing his dog, Buddy? He’s really got a thing for dogs. First Paula Jones and now Buddy.” (Premiere Radio)

* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.