Presenting Milton, the Newest ‘Zine

An L.A.-based publication inspired by Milton Berle--it’s named Milton magazine, of course--is due out in August. The comic’s wife, Lorna, says the ‘zine will celebrate old-fashioned values with this slogan: “We Drink, We Smoke, We Gamble.”

Milton was supposed to debut last year but there have been some management changes. No hurry. At 89, Uncle Miltie is a kid compared to Bob Hope, who turned 95 on Friday.

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DOES RUPERT MURDOCH KNOW ABOUT THIS? Director Phil Alden Robinson says in Entertainment Weekly that when the sod was laid for the baseball diamond in the 1989 movie “Field of Dreams,” he wanted to start shooting immediately.

The field supervisor warned, “You’ll kill [the sod].” To which Robinson pleaded, “Help me out here. What do I do?”

The supervisor responded, “Well, you do what we do [at] Dodger Stadium. When there’s a rock concert one night and the Dodgers are playing the next day, overnight we just get guys out there to paint the grass.”

I knew about Dodger blue, but not about Dodger green.

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MEMORIES OF EL NINO: Edwin F. Parsons Jr. of L.A. sent along a snapshot of a woman who didn’t want to be splashed by the heavens while washing her car during a storm (see photo). Obviously, she had never heard the saying that it always rains the day after you wash your car.

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FOR SALE--25 CENTS OR BEST OFFER: Comic Marty Ingels wonders if the owner of this clunker--whose accessories include a parking ticket--is being besieged with offers (see photo). I think it could use a washing.

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YOUNG CROW: Writer Hugh Ryono says a blue-eyed, baby crow walked into his wife Pam’s fourth-grade classroom “and sat down, seemingly waiting to be educated.” The tiny creature looked hungry and had a bad leg so she brought it home. Hugh, a volunteer worker at the Marine Mammal Care Center, an animal recovery facility in San Pedro, took up the feeding duties--with a chopstick.

At the suggestion of a Care Center manager, he served nutrient-rich dog food. Ryono was advised that when the crow regained its strength, the bird should be released “back at the school. The reason is that crows have family clans and it’ll have a better chance of survival if released in the vicinity of its group.”

Otherwise, Ryono said, there’d be the possibility “of a rival crow clan beating up on it. Drive-by pecking?”

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ONE CONTEST THAT ESPN OVERLOOKED: Molly Woodin writes that her hound, Abigail Gingerale, will be competing Sunday in the synchronized swimming competition of the Basset Hound Spring Games at Victory Park in Pasadena. It has to be more interesting than the human version in the Olympics.

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RADIO WACKY (CONT.): In a list of controversial radio billboards, I erred when I said that all-sports XTRA-AM (690) was responsible for the ad that showed the words, “Fake Left, Fake Right” next to the chest of a woman in a bathing suit. So who complained? XTRA? Nope. All-sports KXTA-AM (1150) actually wanted credit for making that contribution to world literature.

miscelLAny:

USC grads like to say the difference between that school and UCLA is, “You’re a Bruin for four years but a Trojan for life.” As a Trojan alumnus, I thought of that saying when I received a letter from the school offering me a great deal on its “USC AA Group Term Life and Accidental Death Insurance Plan.” I’m going to write back asking whether they mind that I drink, I smoke, I gamble.