Riordan Pops Up in Oddest Places

It’s true that L.A. Mayor Richard Riordan isn’t the most exciting guy. But why does his name cause so much confusion? You may recall that Time magazine called him “Robert” Riordan, and that comic Jay Leno once introduced him as “mayor of New York.” Leno didn’t appear to be joking. Even wackier was the time the Star tabloid published a picture of Riordan and called him astronaut Alan Shepard.

Now, Jerry Rubin of Venice points out that a Santa Monica weekly recently reported that, in that city, “Mayor Bob Holbrook and Richard Riordan were still neck and neck for the last council spot a day after the election.” Actually, Holbrook wound up losing to Richard Bloom, not Richard Riordan. After all, Riordan has said several times in the past that he has no plans to run for higher political office, even a seat on the Santa Monica City Council.

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OUR GLAZED, POWDERED AND CHOCOLATE FRIENDS: Years ago, when mini-malls were popping up all over Southern California, L.A. City Councilman Joel Wachs said in amazement, “Who eats all those doughnuts?” It’s true that, despite its reputation as fitness crazed, this area seems to have a doughnut shop on every corner. During an exclusive Only in L.A. undercover investigation, I discovered that there are federal doughnuts, doctor-prescribed doughnuts, and, well, there’s no other word for it, MANY doughnuts (see photos).

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DA CASTLE OF WHOSE FADDAH? My appeal to readers for the worst movie lines of all time is already engulfed in controversy. This column listed a quote by Tony Curtis as a Bronx-accented warrior who boasts, “Yondah, lies da castle of my faddah.” I thought he said it as a Cossack in “Taras Bulba.”

Brian Crowley of El Segundo noted suspiciously that “on-screen Cossacks are never seen defending anything; they are usually far afield and on the attack.” Crowley and several others attributed the line to “The Black Shield of Falworth.” Others nominated “The Son of Ali Baba” and “The Prince Who Was a Thief.”

Now comes film historian Rick Mitchell, who says that “as part of a film research project I looked at the four costume films Curtis made for Universal” (including the three above). Mitchell couldn’t find the line in any of them. He commented, “Like Bogart’s ‘Play It Again Sam’ and Cary Grant’s ‘Judy, Judy, Judy,’ it’s possible Curtis never said this line.” Then, again . . . the prints that Mitchell viewed were the property of MCA-TV Distribution and, he said, “some could have been cut for television.”

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MEANWHILE, BACK AT DA CASTLE: In his research, Mitchell did turn up this dandy, uttered by Virginia Mayo in “King Richard and the Crusaders”: “War, war, war, that’s all you think about, Dick Plantagenet!”

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LITERARY ‘BURBS: Some Southern California place names immortalized in book titles (authors in parentheses):

* “The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena” (R. L. Stine)

* “The Bicyclist of Beverly Hills” (William Saroyan)

* “Last Dance in Redondo Beach” (Michael Katz)

* “Pomona Queen” (Kem Nunn)

* “Swimming to Catalina” (Stuart Woods)

* “The Tribes of Palos Verdes” (Joy Nicholson)

And, going back a bit further:

* “Death in Venice” (Thomas Mann)

* “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre” (B. Traven)

* And, of course, “Tales of the Alhambra” (Washington Irving)

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KNOW THY PATIENT: “My wife received a card from our family doctor pointing out that she had missed her last appointment, and gently chided her for it,” wrote Roger Nedry of Hacienda Heights. “My wife was puzzled, since she had not ignored any scheduled appointment. But then she noticed that its date was 5/10/20, which happens to be the occasion of my wife’s birth!” Added Nedry: “We have plenty of evidence that she was present for THAT occasion.”

miscelLAny:

Regarding the MCI letter demanding that a customer pay his bill of $0.00, published here recently, a reader said: “I received the same type of letter. . . . I received it two more times. It wasn’t until I sent them a check for zero dollars and zero cents that the matter was closed.” Dick Plantagenet would have taken stronger measures.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at da castle of da boss by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.