Ross Has Company in This Fraternity

A review of Week 5 in the NFL, and the Detroit Lions have a 17-point lead over the Chicago Bears in the fourth quarter, Barry Sanders in their employ, Scott Mitchell on the bench, and if Bobby Ross is boss, he’s got some explaining to do after blowing it.

Football 101 Now in Session

Pay attention, Bobby. The Bears, best known for gagging after throwing away four halftime leads, are standing winless and are playing without their two best players, wide receiver Curtis Conway and running back Curtis Enis.

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. The Bears have fumbled the ball away five times already. They don’t know how to win, and all you have to do is get the ball to Barry, over and over again while the clock does its duty.

But Barry carries the ball only eight times in the second half--against the NFL’s 28th-ranked rush defense--the game instead riding on the rookie experience of quarterback Charlie Batch, and Bobby, these kinds of coaching decisions are usually only made by men coaching the Rams or Cardinals.

The Bears rally--and doesn’t that sound impossible?--for 21 points in the fourth quarter to effectively end your season, Bobby. Bring back Mitchell. It really doesn’t matter anymore what happens.

Slow Down, Big Guy

At the risk of popping the Bears’ bubble and reminding them they cannot play the Lions every week, this remarkable sound bite from Bear defensive end Mark Thomas after Chicago won its first game:

“Who’s to say we can’t win the rest now? We could be in the playoffs.”

Ross Understudy

Arizona Cardinal Coach Vince Tobin appears to have graduated with honors from the Bobby Ross School of Missed Opportunities.

Situation: Five seconds remaining, the Cardinals trail the Raiders by three and are in position to try a 56-yard field goal to send the game into overtime. The TV camera focuses on kicker Joe Nedney because the TV cameraman knows more than Tobin and expects Nedney to try to tie the game.

But Tobin sends out quarterback Jake Plummer.

“I felt we could get another three or four yards on a quick out,” Tobin said.

The Cardinals get two yards, the clock runs out, Al Davis is clucking about the greatness of the Raiders and Nedney left to tell his grandchildren years from now that he would have nailed it.

Tobin’s P.S.

OK, so maybe Tobin had reason to pursue another three or four yards, although maybe he should have gone after another kicker--one he had faith in before this season began--rather than relying on Nedney.

Nedney’s longest field goal in the NFL went 47 yards. In three previous tries from 50 yards or beyond, he missed each one.

So what. Kick it.

Look on the Bright Side

The Redskins are 0-5 and no 0-5 team has ever advanced to the playoffs, but enough with the negatives, as Washington cornerback Darrell Green said, “Every week we have some positives and that’s what you have to take out of it.”

In his retirement, Green will be writing speeches for President Clinton.

Stats to Ponder

The Steelers are 3-1 and yet have been outscored, 56-50. . . . Denver is averaging 36.4 points a game, while limiting the opposition to 18.6, and the way Bubby Brister is playing, that Elway guy might as well retire now. . . . Of the 22 penalties called on the 49ers, seven were for false starts, suggesting San Francisco, while undisciplined, was at least eager to play.

Dan Reeves continues to demonstrate why he is one of the best coaches in the game--with or without John Elway. The Falcons have won nine of their last 12 games--you think Ross could do that? He’s also winning over the Atlanta faithful. Sunday’s crowd at the Georgia Dome was 50,724, only the fourth time in the last 18 home games that more than 50,000 turned out. . . . The 17 points scored against the Chargers were the Colts’ high mark of the year after having scored 15, six, six and 13. Plenty to beat Ryan Leaf.

This Guy Replaced Ross

Kevin Gilbride replaced Ross as the Chargers’ coach, but now is trying to imitate him.

Situation: One minute and 48 seconds left, the Chargers have all three timeouts and trail the Indianapolis Colts, 14-12. And Gilbride has the Chargers try an onside kick, the Colts recover, run some time off, kick a field goal and force Leaf to try to score the winning touchdown with just seconds to play. Impossible.

Where do they get these guys? At the very least they should be calling sportswriters for advice.

Hasn’t Been Right Yet

Washington Coach Norv Turner hasn’t done much right this season, and his record remains intact: “At halftime I thought we were in a football game,” Turner said.

Washington was outscored in the second half, 14-0, and lost, 31-10.

And Finally

After winning their first game of the year, Bear wide receiver Chris Penn gushed, “We feel like we’re on a roll.”