Horses? Races? It Must Have Been Ben Hur

He ran through the desert against a horse with no name. . . . Well, actually, Canadian sprinter-in-disgrace Ben Johnson ran through mud against two horses and a race car Thursday at the Charlottetown Driving Park on Prince Edward Island.

The order of finish:

1. A 17-year-old Morgan saddle horse.

2. A harness-racing pacer.

3. Johnson.

4. The racing stock car, a vehicle presumably headed to the scrap yard.

Johnson, 36, had to run 80 meters, the saddle horse 120 meters, the pacer 100 meters and the stock car 140 meters.

Amazingly, about 5,000 people packed the harness-racing track in heavy rain.

“This is not a circus and Ben is not a circus,” said Morris Chrobotek, Johnson’s agent. “We did this strictly to raise money for children with life-threatening illnesses.”

Johnson tested positive for steroids after winning the 100 meters at the Seoul Olympics in 1988. He was suspended and later made a comeback. Finally, he was suspended for life after a second positive drug test in 1993.

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Trivia time: Which pitcher gave up the only grand slam hit by Pete Rose?

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Synergy overload: Columnist Norman Chad took a look at the lads on “Monday Night Football,” specifically, the exponentially increasing role of Chris Berman:

“Disney has bloated carnival barker Chris Berman’s presence again, from his usual ESPN pulpit to his new ABC lectern, hosting the pregame and halftime shows high atop his perch at a Baltimore bar.

“Berman now hovers over the sporting landscape like a tornado over the Kansas prairie. He has always been a cheap lounge act; with ‘Monday Night Blast,’ he finally gets the live, lathered audience he deserves.”

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Mark, Mark, Mark: Mark Martin is a judicial candidate in North Carolina.

And NASCAR driver Mark Martin sits behind the wheel of a racing Ford.

They are not the same person, which is leading to confusion in North Carolina. Adding to the chaos is that the opponent for the seat on the State Supreme Court is also named Martin--Jim Martin, a Democratic District Court judge.

“I think that certainly when you have two candidates from both parties that happen to have the names of famous people, it means that both candidates have to campaign aggressively,” said Rob Black, a spokesman for the state Democratic Party.

“We’re trying our darndest to educate people as to who he is.”

Who who is?

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Trivia answer: Dallas Green of the Phillies, on July 18, 1964.

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And finally: Baseball legend Harmon Killebrew, on hosting an auction on the World Wide Web: “You don’t have to rent a tux or buy a $200 chicken dinner to attend our auction.”