He’s Convinced That This Bruin Is All Bear

Jay Mariotti in the Chicago Sun-Times:

“He’s daring. He’s poised. He’s a clever playmaker, a mobile thinker who will turn Soldier Field into Sunday at the Improv.

“He’s fun, cool, a comeback artist. He’s a savvy media creature who said he has watched ‘Brian’s Song’ and admitted to crying.

“He’s a leader who will do anything to win, driving himself to such exhausted extremes he once vomited after a play, a scene grossly captured in a Sports Illustrated photo.”

The “he” is, of course, the Bears’ first-round draft choice, UCLA quarterback Cade McNown.

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More McNown: Skip Bayless of the Chicago Tribune is still knocking the Bears’ selection of McNown and their not trading up to get quarterback Daunte Culpepper:

“Culpepper will be a star. McNown is as good as he’ll get. Culpepper is a long-term answer. McNown will spark no more than short-term excitement.”

Bayless has questioned McNown’s arm strength. The same rap was put on Joe Montana, who was a third-round choice of the 49ers in 1979.

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Trivia time: Who holds the Laker record for highest free-throw percentage in a season?

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Worm world: Laker broadcaster Chick Hearn, commenting on Dennis Rodman in the final seconds of the Lakers’ 91-90 victory over Phoenix on April 2:

“One of the most brilliant minds of basketball I’ve ever known.”

The “brilliant mind” has since been released.

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New low: USOC Executive Director Dick Schultz, on the Olympic movement being the target of a Whoopi Goldberg joke on Oscar night:

“You know you’ve reached a new low when they are telling jokes about you on the world’s stage.”

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At least he earned it: Garth Woolsey in the Toronto Star: “With his victory at the Masters, Jose Maria Olazabal moved into the lead among all-time Spanish money leaders, overtaking Juan Antonio Samaranch.”

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Relative isolation: Nick Canepa of the San Diego Union-Tribune on the Chargers’ drafting of 6-foot-4, 256-pound tight end Steven Heiden from South Dakota State in the third round:

“The largest crowd Steve has played in front of is 14,000, which must have meant harvest was over.”

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The real truth: Bob Kravitz in the Rocky Mountain News: “What They Say And What They Mean On Draft Day: ‘He was the best player left on our board’ . . . ‘It was either this stiff or drafting my brother-in-law.’ ”

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Vicious: Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “Just 0.3 grams of coke were found on Darryl Strawberry’s person, but that probably means 0.7 were in his person.”

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Trivia answer: Magic Johnson, 91.1% in 1988-89.

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And finally: Will McDonough in the Boston Globe: “If all the people who admired him as a player are on hand, the May 26 tribute to Bill Russell, the greatest Celtic, will fill the FleetCenter.

“If all of the people he treated well while he played here attend, they could hold it in a phone booth.”