Account for Quantity, Quality Time in Mesh of Personal Life, Job

We chase the American dream. We want it all: a happy family, a nice home and a successful career. And in this pursuit, we hope that a fulfilling professional life and a healthy personal life can coexist.

Yet we learn that achieving happiness in these two aspects of our lives simultaneously is inherently challenging. For example, launching a career, pursuing or getting a promotion or changing jobs can be as stressful and time-consuming as organizational turmoil or downsizing.

Similarly, personal factors, such as developing and sustaining relationships, dual-career considerations, getting married, having children, an illness in the family or aging parents also require energy and time.

We believe a key to success is a good job, a great career. Responsibilities and challenges are sought. We become absorbed in our work. Our commitment is deep, and we willingly make personal sacrifices that accumulate over time.

We also believe that career success will create opportunities for those we love, and so we sacrifice time in these relationships. We make do, if not rationalize, with “quality time” and all too often avoid the question of quantity of time. Eventually, we find our lives out of balance.

If we don’t nurture our personal lives, we are not going to be a success in life . . . and, probably, our careers. It is hard to concentrate when we have a personal problem. Our energy is sapped. Our productivity is hurt.

Seeking balance between our career and personal lives is critical for a meaningful life. Here are a few ideas to consider in your quest for a fulfilling life:

* Realize that finding and maintaining the perfect balance between personal and professional life is more a goal than an achievable reality.

Personal-professional balance might better be thought of as a range of acceptable proportions, rather than a narrowly defined single, fixed split of time.

Intuitively, we know when we venture beyond the acceptable limits, a comfort zone that our inner compass recognizes. And it is critical that we deal with the imbalance when we find ourselves outside our comfort zone. In addition, as we experience different demands through various stages of our lives, we need to be aware that this comfort zone will also likely change.

* How we personally define success is essential.

Although career success is important, success in life is even more important.

A successful career can contribute to a good life but clearly does not guarantee a successful one. A meaningful life might involve career success but might be better defined by the richness of family relations, friendships and a sense that we have somehow contributed to the world around us--whether it is how we have touched another person’s life or in some way make our community a better place.

And as you define your version of success, seek guidance from your own inner compass. Other people’s priorities and definitions may not lead to a fulfilling life for you.

* Avoid using work as a refuge from the challenges of personal life.

Have you ever known anyone who seems happier at work than at home, despite complaints to the contrary? Have you seen anyone “escape” to work instead of dealing with a personal issue?

These people are often absorbed in their jobs, not just because their career is important to them but because they are avoiding the realities and responsibilities of their personal life.

Career success might help temporarily mask the pain associated with challenges in our personal lives. But career success is not a remedy for personal problems. Instead, personal problems will hurt the quality of our work.

Clearly, there are unusually demanding times in our careers--a new job, organizational restructuring or a new boss. Yet, ask yourself if you are spending all this time on work to help your career or to escape a personal reality.

* Sharing personal goals and communicating with those we love is vitally important.

We help integrate our personal and professional lives by sharing our dreams and challenges. In doing so, we build understanding, empathy and a feeling of participation in our career with those we love. We become partners and are better able to deal with those times when life is temporarily out of balance.

* A healthy personal life requires more than quality time. Quality time is necessary but so is quantity. We should only defer our personal life to a point. There will always be good career reasons why we must make that personal sacrifice. Don’t take your personal life for granted.

Our personal lives need nurturing. Seek a minimum core time along with the quality time. This is not necessarily defined in a day or a particular week. We all have peak demand times. We just need to guard against having these peak demand times stretch from months into years.

A successful career can not only help further personal goals, but also can stimulate, challenge and help us grow. Yet, career success is not worth a difficult or shallow personal life.

Guard against the intoxication of career success. Be vigilant in your awareness of conflicting professional and personal demands. Avoid the sacrifice of your personal life.

A successful career and a fulfilling personal life can do more than coexist. They can support each other and allow us to do more. Let us have a meaningful life. Let us fulfill our potential. Let us be relentless in our pursuit of balance.

Gary Izumo is a professor in the Moorpark College Business Department and has managed his own consulting practice. He is a former McKinsey & Co. consultant and Practice Leader for the Strategic Management Consulting Practice of Price Waterhouse. You can e-mail him at gizumo@vcccd.cc.ca.us.