Getting Big Bucks for Our Bangs

Just what in the name of sense are we going to do about all these damn guns?

The political power rangers are coming at the matter every which way from Sunday now, with Chief Bernard Parks wanting every assault rifle gathered up and melted down, and some Los Angeles County supervisors trying to close down gun shows on county property, and the state Assembly passing a ban on making or selling Saturday night specials.

Alas for intentions, some of the politicians who vote on such laws may owe their loyalties and their campaign dough to the very organizations whose members think all this is dead wrong.

While they’re beavering away at laws, let’s try another approach.

First, we have to acknowledge we are by and large a nation of adolescents, and not always very responsible ones. We seem to have little sense of moderation or self-control. We are impulsively greedy and impulsively generous and impulsively angry. We drive too recklessly, eat and drink too much, buy too much stuff and throw away too much stuff.

And how do you keep adolescents in line? You hide the car keys, lock up the liquor and still they can sneak out and drink. Grounding just makes them madder.

Get them in the wallet, the one place every American feels the pain.

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Money. Perhaps it’s the one tool that can enforce the discipline this country seems unable to impose upon itself when it comes to guns.

If you don’t want government forces knocking at the front door, bring market forces in the back.

Society should factor in the true risks and costs of guns, rather than subsidizing them as tobacco was subsidized for so long.

The 2nd Amendment speaks to “ . . . the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” It doesn’t say it’s free.

That belligerent bumper sticker reading, “Before they can take my gun away they’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers”--you can keep the gun, pal, if you’ll just uncurl your fingers long enough to write a check.

First, insurers should declare that guns, like swimming pools, are a variety of attractive nuisance. High risks require high insurance premiums.

Mandate a separate liability policy on each gun in a home, owned or rented. If a gun owner’s carelessness lets a gun fall into the wrong hands, or if someone is shot, the claim gets paid, but the gun owner goes on an assigned-risk list, like people who have too many auto crackups. If he wants another gun, his premium could go sky-high--or the policy could be canceled. If some mishap occurs with a gun that hasn’t been insured, a homeowner’s policy is voided outright.

The insurance companies, never loath to bring in bucks, should go for this in a big way; if most gun owners are as responsible as the NRA contends, insurance companies won’t be paying out much in settlements. And gun owners who don’t much bother about keeping weapons secure now will start paying attention. After all, it’s not just life at stake anymore, it’s cash.

And when it comes to enforcement--well, I saw “Double Indemnity,” and insurance investigator Edward G. Robinson sussed out a murder that even the cops missed.

The second market force that can be brought to bear is taxes. Tax laws already influence the ebb and flow of investment and capital; why not the ebb and flow of guns?

Impose hefty gun taxes, perhaps 30% on top of the price, in every weapons and ammo transaction, domestic or foreign, retail or wholesale.

Such a tax could defray some fraction of the enormous price of gun violence in this country, both to the public purse and to the private victim. More trauma centers, like the one that cared for the victims of the Jewish community center shootings, could be set up with this money. Medical expenses for victims of gun violence could be paid in part from this kitty.

And for my money, the taxman is as scary as Edward G. Robinson. I wouldn’t want to try to put one over on either of them.

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If this prices some people out of the gun market, so be it. Isn’t that the American way? Some of us get a Mercedes, some of us wind up driving a Yugo. The fellows in the powdered wigs promised the pursuit of happiness, not happiness itself, even if happiness is a warm gun, to quote a man who was killed by one.

Groups like the National Rifle Assn. will protest that this penalizes the poor and the working man. If the NRA is serious about promoting responsible gun ownership, let it step forward to put its millions where its mouth is, by subsidizing those insurance policies, and rebating those taxes--instead of cramming that money into politicians’ pockets.

Money can’t buy good behavior, but as a down payment, it’s a start.

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Patt Morrison’s column appears Fridays. Her e-mail address is patt.morrison@latimes.com.