COLLEGE BASKETBALL TOP 25

No. School (Record) Comment

1. Connecticut (7-1) Did someone sneeze or just say Ajou Ajou Deng?

2. Stanford (9-0) Celebrated No. 1 ranking in other polls by solving complex math problems.

3. Michigan State (8-2) Win at Rupp tonight would make for a blue, bluegrass Christmas in Kentucky.

4. Cincinnati (9-1) Bearcats ask for X-rays after loss to Xavier.

5. Florida (8-1) The schedule is softer than a Gator’s belly.

6. Syracuse (8-0) The only real threat to Connecticut in the Big East.

7. Auburn (10-1) School scraps plans to have James Brooks read national anthem.

8. Arizona (9-2) Not in our house? New Mexico didn’t seem to have a problem.

9. Duke (8-2) Team seems to have recovered from that 0-2 start.

10. Tennessee (11-0) Y’all looked good against American of Puerto Reeeko.

11. Oklahoma State (10-0) Win at Washington sends opposing coach on a bender.

12. Kansas (9-2) Paging Eric Chenowith. Please report to your post.

13. Indiana (8-1) Career win No. 750 improves Knight’s victory-to-transfer ratio.

14. North Carolina (8-3) Indiana beats tar out of ‘Heels in Jimmy V Classic.

15. Temple (5-2) It’s A-drag that Pepe Sanchez won’t be back until the A-10.

16. Illinois (6-3) Big win over Kansas followed by . . . loss to Missouri?

17. Ohio State (6-2) Shooting guard an oxymoron until Michael Redd knocks down a few.

18. Gonzaga (7-3) Hmm. ‘Zags beat UCLA, lose to Cal?

19. Texas (6-3) Team took Chisholm Trail to Wednesday’s game at Utah.

20. Oklahoma (9-1) Out singing Christmas carols, missed Wednesday game vs. Cincinnati.

21. Maryland (8-2) School receives rubber-stamped holiday card from Steve Francis.

22. UCLA (5-2) NCAA investigates Hawaii luau in which a roasted “Piggie” was served.

23. DePaul (7-3) Team treated for narcolepsy after second half vs. UCLA.

24. Kentucky (5-4) Huge donation from tobacco lobby propels Wildcats back into rankings.

25. Utah (6-2) Majerus’ plate now full with Mottola back in lineup.