New Frontiers in Desktop Publishing

In its “Best Urban Adventures of 1999” roundup, the city of Paramount’s newsletter cited the case of a tightfisted visitor who requested copies of all permits for a house he was considering purchasing. He left City Hall empty-handed and angry when told there was a fee for the copies.

Later, however, he returned--with his own copying machine. “He set the machine up on the counter and asked for an extension cord to plug it in,” the newsletter said.

ELSEWHERE ON THE HOME MARKET: Betty Barris came across a real estate ad that listed a peculiar price range (see accompanying).

THE OWNERS WERE TAKING CATNAPS: The LAPD newspaper, the Thin Blue Line, told of a raid on a suspected methamphetamine lab by Foothill Division officers who found a kitty litter box but no kitty. The box, they surmised, was used in an attempt to eliminate the smells of the chemicals. Unlike cats, this meth lab had only one life.

LACKING A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF DEDICATION: Some experts say that Americans are in poorer physical condition than previous generations were. And purse snatchers are apparently no exception, judging from the account of a street theft in the Thin Blue Line newspaper. LAPD officers were alerted and quickly spotted the suspect--bent over beside a car, obviously out of breath.

And he had run just two blocks.

WHINER TAKE ALL: Golfers are among the world’s greatest complainers, as everyone knows. And Bill Hill of Upland found a shop where they can apparently go if they run out of gripes (see photo).

CRABBY BEHAVIOR (CONT.): In the San Francisco Chronicle, Ken Gosting of Merced saw this reference to Santa Monica, where Stanford’s Rose Bowl football team stayed for a few days:

“While construction on Ocean Avenue has caused the middle lane to be closed off, with a sign declaring left turns cannot be made, an addendum to the sign says, ‘Lobster Deliveries OK.’ ”

IN THE HISTORICAL, IF NOT HYSTERICAL, CATEGORY: When Richard Nixon was grand marshal of the Tournament of Roses in 1960, the parade theme was “Tall Tales and True.”

That wasn’t the first time the event had an ironic title. A pounding rainstorm hit the 1934 parade, the year its theme was: “Tales of the Seven Seas.”

CUTTING TAXES AND LAWNS: A reader sent in the business card of a gardener who seems to be moonlighting as a legislator (see accompanying).

WEREN’T THEY A FAMOUS ROCK BAND? Ticking off memories of his more than 30 years at the Long Beach Press-Telegram, sports columnist Loel Schrader included a call to the newspaper from a reader who had “heard the Moon Rocks were going to be at UCLA and wondered what night they were going to be playing the Bruins.”

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A while back, this column noted that the marquee of the Commerce Plaza Hotel off the Santa Ana Freeway had advertised a Dec. 31 “Millinium” event for several days. Well, the hotel finally took care of the spelling problem. The marquee now instead advertises a “New Year’s Eve” event.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053 and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.