A Story of Unflagging Patriotism

Bob Hilgerman--that’s Lt. Cmdr. (Ret.) Robert Hilgerman--can tell you a thing or two about running a tight ship.

He spent six years with the Coast Guard and 31 with the reserves, rising to deputy group commander of the reserve outfit at Channel Islands Harbor.

At 66, he’s every inch the retired officer. That could be why it bugged him so much over the last six weeks to see a sadly shredded flag flying over the post office.

At first, he merely pointed it out to the clerk on duty.

Thank you, sir, he was told a number of times. We’ll take care of it.

But the mutilated banner kept flying--and Hilgerman kept steaming.

“The blooming flag was ragged and in tatters,” he told me. “I wasn’t about to tolerate it.”

Mindful of mile-long chains of command, he naturally asked to speak to The Person In Charge. Just as naturally, he was given an 800 number that was almost constantly busy. Finally, someone answered and promised swift action.

Nothing happened.

That didn’t surprise Hilgerman, who knows all too well how big organizations work. Until recently he taught business at Santa Barbara City College--a job he landed after years of teaching at Hueneme High School and Ventura College.

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A couple of weeks ago, Hilgerman decided he’d had it.

The white-haired veteran, who splits his time between Oxnard and Santa Barbara, marched to the offending San Roque branch of the U.S. Postal Service and did what had to be done.

“I took the flag down, went inside, and politely handed it to the lady in back. I said, ‘Please don’t fly this torn flag.’ I said it was an insult to our country, that too many young men and women had died for the flag to fly it in a condition like this.”

I can only imagine how I would feel if upon looking up from prolonged study of Dead-Letter Regulation 811 (b)(1-3), I suddenly encountered a fuming retiree with my bedraggled Old Glory in his arms.

“She screamed at me,” Hilgerman said. “She said she’d have me arrested.”

By his account, the Lt. Cmdr. (Ret.) was prepared for resistance.

“Look, lady, have me arrested,” he said, flashing his Coast Guard ID. “But don’t you dare put this flag back up, or I’m going to the U.S. Attorney’s office.”

The threat of mutually assured destruction succeeded. Hilgerman was not arrested, nor did he rat out the postal service to federal prosecutors.

“That was hogwash,” he acknowledged later. “But she seemed impressed by it.”

The next day, a fresh new flag flew over the San Roque station. Postal officials said it had been ordered some time before.

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I’m sure the postal service would have been less forgiving in a less image-conscious day. Despite his good intentions, Hilgerman probably would have been hauled away for tampering or trespassing or some other high crime. But credit where it’s due: Any agency that puts Bugs Bunny on a stamp has enough P.R. savvy to refrain from prosecuting a man for loving the flag.

A postal service spokeswoman, Terri Bouffiou, said the San Roque problem occurred partly because of a change in the elevation of postal service personnel. She said the clerks most recently responsible for lowering the Stars and Stripes in the evening were too short to reach the rope--it’s called a halyard--that was looped around a bracket on the side of the building.

The problem has been fixed, and Hilgerman’s mission accomplished. The Stars and Stripes flies over the post office with all its stars and stripes intact.

Now if only the postal service would check in with the Lt. Cmdr. (Ret.) before the next rate increase . . . .

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Steve Chawkins is a Times staff writer. His e-mail address is steve.chawkins@latimes.com.