An Ex-Lover Cooks Up Just Desserts

When the man in Suzanne Yalof’s life pitched her dreams of happily ever after right into the dumpster, she got mad. Then she got even by writing a book. Her slender, illustrated dumpee’s confessional, “Getting Over John Doe” (William Morrow & Co.), takes the reader from the bliss to the blowup of her relationship. “I call him John Doe because even though he said he was different,” she writes, “he was just like all the rest.”

Once she got past the “he’s such a jerk, why doesn’t he call?” stage, Yalof’s strategies for overcoming heartbreak were hilariously original. For example, she gave the gold bracelet John had given her for Christmas to a homeless woman, making the bag lady promise to wear it for a week before she sold it. Clearly, Yalof has no use for conventional wisdom or politically correct behavior: “Most people will tell you that seeing old boyfriends is a mistake, but it always makes me feel a lot better. Being liked when you don’t like back can be empowering.”

While it’s doubtful that anyone would actually follow the steps she took to get over whatshisname, the message of the book is that as petty, hostile and bereft as you feel, you are not alone.