Worm or Cockroach, He Bugs You

Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times, commenting on the on-again, off-again retirement of Dennis Rodman, the Chicago Bulls’ enigmatic rebounder:

“Through it all--MTV, cigars, tequila, bimbos, movies, cross-dressing, debauchery of the most painful and hung-over type--Rodman never strayed from the one thing he can do better than any man who ever lived: getting the damn ball.

“A lemming headed for the sea? No, Rodman is more of a cockroach running from an exterminator.

”. . . Worm was less an evil dude than he was a pain in the butt. He was no role model; he was an oddball mope in therapy. He didn’t strangle his coaches. He did sneaky, pestering, lunatic things instead.

“He was, as [Phil] Jackson aptly described him, a high-spirited but ‘annoying player.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Pacific 10 Conference record for free-throw percentage in a season?

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Go for it, Dikembe: Atlanta Hawk center Dikembe Mutombo was so excited about the Falcons making the Super Bowl, he joined 6,000 people at the Atlanta airport when the team flew home from the NFC championship game Sunday night.

“I did the Dirty Bird,” Mutombo told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “I was happy for them, I was dancing.”

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Welcome back, Spree: Tom FitzGerald, writing in the San Francisco Chronicle: “The Knicks are so excited about getting Latrell Sprewell from the Warriors that they’ve already scheduled Thug Night at the Garden.

“And New York has already named a district after one of Sprewell’s patented moves. It’s called ‘The Battery.’ ”

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Oops, it’s really Hoops: Cathy Harasta of the Dallas Morning News reports that one of the best names in sports is Ollie Hoops (really), co-owner of the semi-pro Dallas Express of the Southwest Basketball League.

He admits that his name is so unbelievable that he has to get out his driver’s license most of the time to prove it.

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Wrong sport: A chant by Duke fans, taunting football power Florida State, as the Blue Devils’ lead approached 30 points early in the second half of a recent basketball game: “Need four touchdowns.”

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FYI: Stanford hasn’t won a conference basketball title outright since the 1941-42 season, when the Cardinal also won the NCAA championship.

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Trivia answer: Rod Foster of UCLA, .950 in 1981-82.

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And finally: Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune, on Scottie Pippen leaving the Bulls to play for the Houston Rockets:

“Pippen was never able to be more than he was, a complement, a counterpart, the second most important jewel in the box, the bracelet that went with the tiara.

“During the time [Michael] Jordan was gone to baseball, Pippen confirmed exactly what kind of player he is, a great player who needed a greater one. He was Tonto to Jordan’s Long Ranger by choice as much as by circumstance.”