LAUGH LINES

An Idea That Clicks: Brazil is trying to stabilize its economy. “In order to spark some interest in investment from the outside, officials are mulling the possibility of renaming the country Brazil.com.” (Andy Waits)

No Refill: Starbucks is opening a store in China. “A single latte there could cost the typical peasant a week’s wages, or about what it costs here.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Coming Attraction: A sequel to “Mission Impossible” is in the works. “In this new one, the Mission Impossible team is gonna try to figure out the plot of the first one.” (Jay Leno)

*

The Essential

David Letterman

New slogans for the NBA:

10. “With Michael Jordan gone, maybe your team will have a chance to win.”

8. “We’ve added a third basket for more scoring.”

7. “We all just lost a lot of money. So please, tip your point guard.”

6. “What else are you going to watch? Hockey?”

5. “A lot like the WNBA, but with men.”

4. “Please watch our games, so we don’t have to get real jobs.”

3. “Who knows, maybe one of our players will become governor of Minnesota.”

2. “Some arenas are now selling nachos for under $20.”

1. “More millionaires in shorts than at a Microsoft company picnic.”

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LAUGH LINES