Angel V-Team Means Victory

Our two last-place major league baseball teams, the Angels and the Dodgers, played each other Thursday night at Edison Field.

And guess what? The Angels and the Dodgers weren’t the biggest losers on the field. The biggest losers would be the umpiring crew of Joe Brinkman, Doug Eddings, Dale Scott and Larry Cousins.

Even though these Orange County fans hardly ever get worked up over anything sports-related, the umpires got booed when they walked onto the field. So good for you, fans.

As the rest of baseball celebrated its past and got teary-eyed when Ted Williams was welcomed and welcoming at Fenway Park for the 1999 All-Star game, the umpires were busy gathering at a Philadelphia airport hotel to follow their own George Armstrong Custer, whose name is Richie Phillips and whose arrogance has not been seen since Custer dismissed the Indians.

These umpires, whose growth-rate in the waist department has rivaled that of offensive linemen in the last couple of decades (and this is not a good thing because the umpires’ growth-rate in the height department has not); these umpires who seem to think it is their duty to provoke confrontations and not defuse them; these umpires who think it is cool to be fools and give themselves nicknames like “Country Joe” have listened to Phillips and announced they will be resigning from baseball on Sept. 2 and forming their own company.

Umpires Inc.

They say that if major league baseball wants umpires, major league baseball will have to go to Umpires Inc. to hire umpires. And give Umpires Inc. everything it demands.

On Edison Field Thursday night, it was difficult to get any definitive opinions about these umpires and their threat.

The Dodgers and the Angels, after all, have enough problems without making the umpires angry. And often all it takes to make the umpires angry is to not have minty-fresh breath when you argue one of their incorrect calls.

But outside of Edison Field, as the California crowd wandered in, some wearing Dodger blue, some wearing Angel blue and one guy even wearing a Jim Edmonds jersey--how hard must one of those be to find?--there was a definite trend.

The umpires stink.

“Fire ‘em all, fire ‘em now,” Jim Battle of Cerritos said. Battle had his 10-year-old son, Jamie, with him. Jamie very much wanted his dad to purchase some sort of souvenir with Mo Vaughn’s name on it. Jamie very much wanted to see Mo Vaughn hit a home run. Jamie did not really care who the umpires were. Or even if there were any umpires.

“Do you need them, Dad?” Jamie asked. Battle called this umpire threat “ridiculous,” “stupid” and “arrogant.” Battle said he’s to the point where, if there is another baseball work stoppage of any kind “I’ll just go watch college baseball.” And Battle said he’d rather watch college umpires in the major leagues, even in the World Series, even if they make many bad calls “because who do these big, fat overpaid guys think they are?”

“I read where they get paid $200,000, some of them, and they get vacations during the season. Is that right?” Battle asked. When told that he was correct, Battle shook his head and said, “Man, they only work six months of the year anyway and they get vacations?”

Yep. Did you know that some umpires start the season on vacation?

“You gotta be kidding me,” Doug Versailles of Los Angeles said. “After being off all winter they get vacation? Where do I sign up for that job?”

Versailles doesn’t understand what umpires want. “One of them gets suspended for being belligerent? Is that what it’s about?” he wondered.

It is Versailles’ opinion that the umpires are pouting over the three-game suspension of one of their own, Tom Hallion. You may recall that Hallion seemed to make physical contact with a couple of Colorado Rockies during a dispute about a checked swing call.

“What, everybody else can be suspended and fined but never an ump?” Versailles said. “They act like God, but God doesn’t weigh 300 pounds. Some of those guys look like they do. They’re not in shape, they have no pride, and they want more money and more respect? I hope baseball doesn’t cave.”

As more people came up, walked by, were eager to offer an opinion, unanimously, that the umpires were “big jerks,” to quote two women, it was a little sad.

There was more emotion being expended on umpires and their resignations than about the Angels or Dodgers. There was not much anticipation about the baseball to be played on this gentle summer evening of clear skies and a hint of breeze and the promise of a fine pitching matchup (Dodger ace Kevin Brown and Angel ace Chuck Finley). Even though the Angels were only 6 1/2 games behind Texas before the game, there seems a resignation to their team not winning a division title again.

And there is a deep anger about any segment of professional baseball thinking about any type of job action.

The umpires have been nearly belligerent in sticking out their big collective stomachs and daring someone, anyone, to bump them and provoke them into their new company, Umpires Inc.

“We’re going to get killed,” National League umpire Ed Montague said Thursday night in New York. “People believe what they read or see. They’re going to believe the umpires are always the bad guys.”

Uh, right, Ed. People do believe what they read and see. What they’ve read and seen are a bunch of well-paid men who seem to demand respect instead of earning it, who seem to insist on blanket infallibility and who are apparently saying that they must get everything they demand. Or else.

“Let’s see them hang that Umpires Inc. sign up somewhere,” Jay from Anaheim said. “Don’t use my last name, they might find my home and raid the refrigerator. Let’s see who will hire them. I hope major league baseball doesn’t.”

Diane Pucin can be reached at her e-mail address: diane.pucin@latimes.com.