Compromise Is More Effective Than Surrender

Do we need another book telling women to surrender to men (“Let Him Drive,” July 7)? Granted, I have not read Laura Doyle’s self-published book, “Surrendered Wife: A Woman’s Spiritual Guide to True Intimacy With a Man.” It is not aimed at me, a woman who has been in a successful marriage for 30 years (three times longer than Ms. Doyle). I hope young married women do not follow her advice.

Here is what I know: In a marriage you have to assert the autonomy you developed in the first part of your life. When you and your partner are making a decision that affects both of you, you have to discuss it. Sometimes you have to compromise, and this compromise should be based on mutual respect.

These guidelines apply equally to both partners. No one has to control; no one has to surrender. Marriage is not analogous to war.

--KATHRYN WILKENS

Upland