LAUGH LINES

All’s Fair in Politics: Bob Kerrey endorsed Bill Bradley, not Al Gore. “The usually wooden Gore said he wasn’t hurt but that he did develop a knot in his throat.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)

Off the Campaign Trail: A 25-year-old woman surprised her doctors by giving birth to a healthy set of twins just days after awakening from a three-month-long coma. “That’s nothing--Al Gore is running for president and he’s yet to awaken from his.” (Daily Scoop)

Way Off the Campaign Trail: President Clinton toured poverty-stricken areas of the country. “And now George W. Bush is going to tour what the Republicans perceive as poverty-stricken areas--you know, places where there are people making less than $100,000 a year, country clubs with one pool.” (Jay Leno)

That’s the Spirit: Oak Park, Ill., is planning a 100th birthday celebration for hometown hero Ernest Hemingway. “Said the organizers, ‘It’ll be a party. A big party. A manly party. Not a party for the weak of spirit. A good party.’ ” (Daily Scoop)

On to Weightier Matters: Supermodel Cindy Crawford gave birth to a baby weighing 8 pounds, 4 ounces. “Which is heavier than most supermodels.” (Jay Leno)

The Price of Success: Ricky Martin said that his upcoming tour will showcase work from his entire career. “This means that during each show, he’ll sing ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’ 15 times.” (Conan O’Brien)

Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.