Losing British Open Is No Choking Matter--or Is It?

My son, Phil, had a much better headline for the results of the British Open:

“Sacre-Bleu-It!”

ELOISE BIENVENU, West Covina

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After watching the dramatic/traumatic Jean Van de Velde on the 72nd hole of the British Open, all I can say is the heat’s off the Shark, but now it’s on the “Barry Burn Guppie.”

JIM GORIN, Whittier

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What is the saddest thing about Van de Velde’s final-hole collapse? Not being able to savor Jim Murray’s inimitable chronicling on Monday morning in The Times.

GARY FISHMAN, Los Angeles

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Directions for the Strange Curtis Drinking Game:

NEEDED TO PLAY: A sufficient quantity of alcoholic beverage and an ABC-televised golf tournament.

1. Any time Strange Curtis says the word “five” (fah-uv): take one drink.

2. Any time Strange Curtis says the word “iron” (ah-urn): take one drink.

3. Any time Strange Curtis says “Tiger” (Togger): take two drinks.

4. Any time Strange Curtis says “drive” (drah-uv): take one drink.

5. Any time the letter “i” or “y” is pronounced as “ah”: take two drinks.

Be advised: These guidelines can be lethal. For example, if Strange Curtis happens to say something like, “Togger’s gonna drah-uv with a fah-uv ah-urn, and that’s the rah-t play with a fah-uv shot lead and fah-uv to play, and a fairway that’s not very wahd,” you may find yourself a victim of alcohol poisoning. For this reason it’s best not to play the Strange Curtis Drinking Game alone. Do not operate a motor vehicle after playing the Strange Curtis Drinking Game (use a “designated drah-ver”).

WILEY C. ROSE, Temple City