Keep Wisecracks to Yourself, Hollywood

Taped to the front gate of Bob Rothstein’s residence in Venice was a “Notification of Filming” flier, which announced that a production company was going to shoot a scene involving:

“***CAR EXPLOSION***

“***FULL-LOAD

AUTOMATIC GUNFIRE***”

What nettled Rothstein a bit was the double meaning contained in a pledge by the film company to “treat your neighborhood with the respect it deserves.”

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DON’T BE BASHFUL, BOSS! “Most people hope the boss will never show up, except on paydays,” quipped Natalie Berreth of Canyon Country. But she found an exception (see photo).

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WATCH WHERE YOU STEP, THOUGH: A few days ago, I showed you a customs declaration form that asked the bearer to “sing.” For those of you interested in other aspects of musical expression, Barbara Fries of Cerritos noticed that Cal State Fullerton seems to be convening song writers in an outdoors setting (see accompanying).

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TOUR DE FREIGHT: In its “Best of ‘99” section, the L.A. Downtown News saluted Scott Free as “best downtown bike courier.”

And no wonder. Free, who is employed by Worldwide Attorney Services, pedals from his home in Tujunga to work every day. The commute only seems to freshen him. He is so adept at his job that his company has put up $5,000 to sponsor him at the fourth annual Courier Championships in Zurich, Switzerland.

Participants are given packages to deliver and must overcome such obstacles as cobblestones, mud puddles, curves, pedestrians and train tracks. If he can handle L.A. traffic, he should be able to handle anything.

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SETTING YOUR TEETH ON EDGE: Have you been looking for a novel in which a dental hygienist has a prominent role?

Look no further. Some titles compiled by Lois Hirt, a columnist for an L.A. Dental Hygienists Society publication:

* ‘We Interrupt This Broadcast” by K.K. Beck: Dr. Ken Jordan and dental hygienist Marilyn have an affair, causing him to leave his wife and join the hygienist’s California commune. Is it hygienic?

* “The 13th Juror” by John Lescroart: A dental receptionist who longs to be a hygienist is accused of attacking her married dentist boss with dental instruments after he tries to break off their affair.

* “Hard Fall,” by Ridley Pearson: A villainous sort visits a dentist’s office, Hirt writes, “and after a scene that involves nitrous oxide, leaves the office wearing a dental hygienist’s clothes.”

* “Curly Smoke” by Susan Holtzer: A murder victim is strangled with dental tape.

* “The Killing Dentist--Appointment for Murder,” by Susan Crain Bakos: Nuff said.

miscelLAny:

On 4th Street downtown, I saw a car covered with U.S. Marine stickers, including one that said, “Lead, follow, or get the hell outta the way!” Seemed appropriate for the profession of the driver. He was a pizza deliveryman.

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.