Is Gramps Ready for His Close-Up?

A weekly column about humans as they interact with things that beep, buzz, ring and download.

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Dear Button Pusher: My parents are in their 70s, and I want to have their stories for my children and, I hope, for their children’s children too. I’m concerned about what is the best method for recording them. I think they both would be uncomfortable in front of a video camera. If I went to just audio taping, we’d be cheated out of their facial and physical expressions. Or is there something else out there I should consider? What do you suggest?

--FAMILY HISTORIAN

Dear Historian: Your best bet is to get them an hour slot on the “Charlie Rose” show. Kidding, of course. They wouldn’t get a word in edgewise.

It’s a sad fact that by the time grandkids get around to being curious about their grandparents’ lives, their grandparents are usually gone. Generations are often left to piece together what their forebears were all about through documents or often unreliable oral histories.

Though it is relatively inexpensive to get a video cam, not many people are availing themselves of the handy little devices. It’s perfectly understandable. Asking older folks to sit down and tell their life stories for posterity implies, of course, that they won’t be around some day to tell the tale themselves. And who wants to risk offending them and reminding yourself that life is short?

Nobody likes to be shaken from denial, but this is an enterprise that is well worth it. If you’re honest about why you want the information and who it’s for, it’s unlikely the older folks will take offense.

You’re right that those of the older generation may be unnerved by the camera. Initially, at least. But as your interview progresses, their reservedness will most likely disappear. Imagine the gift you give to your children and subsequent generations by videotaping them. Think of how thankful you’d be for such documentation of your grandparents or great-grandparents.

Good luck.

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Dear Button Pusher: A few months ago I happily asked a friend of 14 years to be my best man at my upcoming wedding. Since then, he’s taken to computerizing everything about my wedding. He set up a Web page devoted to our wedding, and he installed wedding-planner software in our computer. Those things are fine, but he also wants to distribute directions taken from a Web site. I saw the directions the computer recommends for getting to the rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony and the reception. They’re totally confusing! He’s a great guy, but he’s sensitive to criticism. I’m afraid my guests will get lost.

--NERVOUS GROOM

Dear Groom: You have enough to worry about with your impending nuptials. Tell your “best man” to can the computer directions. Do it the old-fashioned way: Put pencil to paper, spell out your favorite routes, draw a rudimentary map, make copies and distribute.

Weekly fact: Computer hookups at UC Irvine number around 10,000. Phone hookups number around 8,000.

For comments and questions upon the human-machine relationship, please e-mail to martin.miller@latimes.com or write to: Button Pusher, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053 or fax to (213) 237-4888. Please include name and city of residence when corresponding.