Nothing to Hide on Election Day
Joe Shea, a volunteer worker at a polling place in Hollywood, says a 70ish co-worker was on her way to the precinct on election day when she saw a man “with a beautiful body” running naked on Whitley Avenue.
“Was he wearing tennis shoes?” Shea asked.
“I wasn’t looking at tennis shoes,” she replied.
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WRONG KIND OF HOSPITALITY: A Paramount resident recently poured a large concrete slab in his frontyard, explaining that he needed to increase parking for all the buddies that come to visit. “The guests turned out to be paying customers,” the city’s newsletter said, “and the man was arrested for selling narcotics.”
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WEIRD, WEIRD WORLD OF ANIMALS: Today’s pet guide (see accompanying) includes a golden retriever with a lot of starch (submitted by JoAnne Micon and Rosemary Rouse), a couple of puppies with a resourceful father (from Carol Baier), a cat with an expensive coat (from Estelle Wrisley), and a parking section devoted to some real weasels (from Phil Proctor).
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QUESTIONABLE TASTE DEPT.: Reporters were invited to a screening of a Fox movie, “Lake Placid,” about a prehistoric alligator that is loose in, so help me, Maine. Anyway, as a gimmick, the media were served a meal of barbecued alligator. Tastes just like crocodile, I’m told.
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STICKY STICK-UP: Andrea Calhoun of L.A. noticed a life-imitates-Woody Allen event in the syndicated column “News of the Weird.” A Pennsylvania robber, like the hapless character in Allen’s film “Take the Money and Run,” held up a bank with a note that warned, “I got a gum.”
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BILL’S NOT GOING TO LIKE THAT: After seeing the “window pain” typo highlighted here, Tony H. of Altadena writes: “The real ‘pain windows’ is Windows 95/98.”
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SPACEY ALUMNUS: Lori Mazur of San Pedro phoned to point out that Sheriff Lee Baca and ex-LAPD Chief Daryl Gates aren’t the only well-known law enforcement officers who are alumni of L.A.’s Franklin High. Mazur’s mother, Melba, attended Franklin with Gene Roddenberry. Of course, he became better known after he quit the LAPD to create the “Star Trek” series.
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L.A.--YOU CAN’T ESCAPE IT: A while back I mentioned the sighting in the Fairfax area of a BMW with a Utah plate that proclaimed, LEFT LA.
Now, faithful reader Dan Fink reports a West L.A. sighting of a Chevrolet truck with an Oregon plate that said, XLA GRL.
I say welcome back, and no hard feelings.
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DISROBING 101: Bob Calverley works at the USC News Service, his wife works at UCLA, and his daughter Laura attends UC Santa Cruz. Mom and dad received this e-mail from their daughter:
“This is why Santa Cruz is so much cooler than UCLA. Today I saw a naked parade. Actually it was some kind of protest or something, but there were a bunch of people (many totally naked) marching with their hippie drums and protest signs through the campus today. I bet UCLA students don’t have naked parades.”
No, but have you ever been to Hollywood?
miscelLAny:
The other day I mentioned the efforts of the Beacon House recovery unit in San Pedro to rid itself of raccoons. Beacon House spokesman Art Vinsel phoned afterward. “Some poor suffering guy read your column and phoned us up,” Vinsel said. “He needs our help with an alcohol problem.”
Nice to know I’m not driving every reader to drink.
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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.