LAUGH LINES
On the Campaign Trail: The GOP is planning to hold a fund-raiser at the Watergate Hotel. “You don’t need an invitation. You can just sort of sneak in.” (Daily Scoop)
Making War Safe: The Army says it will begin using environmentally friendly bullets that contain no lead. “That’s good--the last thing you want are bullets that are bad for you!” (Jay Leno)
Video Daze: Queen Elizabeth is reportedly angry that Prince Edward won’t let TV cameras film his wedding. His plan is to film it himself and then sell the video to media outlets. “Well, you can see why Queen Elizabeth is upset. This is the first time in 900 years that any member of the royal family has shown any initiative at all.” (Leno)
Video Daze II: There’s now a British version of the “Jerry Springer Show.” “It’s not quite the same. Instead of hair-pulling and fighting, the combatants politely offer each other really bad food.” (Alex Kaseberg)
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Bob Mills’ Least Important News Stories of the Century
The Newseum in Washington, D.C., recently polled journalists and scholars about the top news stories of the 20th century. Other rankings of note:
941. Chevy Chase’s late-night talk-show host career.
247. O.J.’s unsuccessful search for the real killers.
116. Susan Lucci’s continuing failure to win a daytime Emmy.
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