This Record Is Definitely One for Ages

Just wondering, but how fast do 90-year-old sprinters figure to run the 100-meter dash?

It might be difficult to beat a 96-year-old man, who shattered an age-group world record Saturday when he ran the 100 in 24.01 seconds in Honolulu.

Erwin Jaskulski broke the 95-and-older age-group record of 38.82 seconds set by Kazuhiko Tsutsumi of Japan in 1997, said officials at the Punahou Relays.

Jaskulski broke the world record twice last year, but his efforts weren’t recognized by the World Assn. of Veteran Athletes because of technical questions about wind and the lack of electronic timing equipment.

But all requirements were met for Saturday’s race.

*

Trivia time: Which Pacific 10 Conference record does John Elway still hold?

*

Not so fast: Shaun Powell of Newsday questions the suggestion by Madison Square Garden CEO Dave Checketts that Knick center Patrick Ewing is a trade untouchable:

“Ewing, an untouchable? What does Checketts think he has, Eliot Ness in the pivot?”

*

No class: Chicago Cub fan Amy Freeman, on accusations that some Wrigley Field fans had been desecrating the bronze 7-foot statue of the late Harry Caray by putting beer cans in the legendary announcer’s outstretched hand:

“He was known for drinking beers, so what’s the big deal? Besides, this is a baseball park. People are supposed to be disrespectful.”

*

No beauty queens: Dan LeBatard of the Miami Herald is not impressed with the post-Michael Jordan NBA:

“The 1999 champion won’t be the best. The 1999 champion will be the least worst. Winning the championship this year will feel like being voted most attractive at an ugly convention.”

*

For the record: Karl Malone’s memory played him false in a newspaper exchange with Danny Ainge, as reported in Monday’s Morning Briefing. It was Atlanta center Tree Rollins who bit Ainge, then with the Boston Celtics, as they scrapped during a game. The incident inspired this memorable headline in one paper: “Tree Bites Man.”

*

Geriatric QBs: Mike Lupica in the New York Daily News: “The [Kansas City] Chiefs apparently only signed Warren Moon this week because nobody could find Y.A. Tittle’s phone number.”

*

More Lupica: “I was a little unclear this week, following some of the coverage, but did Roger Clemens pitch through a sore hamstring or lead his troops up San Juan Hill?”

*

Shut out again: Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post: “Once again, the Nuggets didn’t make the playoffs. Does that mean they go to the NIT?

*

Trivia answer: Most touchdown passes, 77. UCLA’s Cade McNown has 66 and ranks third on the list behind Elway and another former Stanford quarterback, Steve Stenstrom, who had 75.

*

And finally: Milwaukee Buck Coach George Karl after Knick General Manager Ernie Grunfeld was fired:

“New York is New York. That’s a keg of dynamite with nitroglycerin all around it and and a guy shooting bullets at it. I don’t know how you’d handle it out there.”