. . . And Anyhow, What He Ought to Be Is a Mensch

So it turns out that Al Gore has been shelling out $15,000 a month to have feminist writer Naomi Wolf teach him to be what she calls an “alpha male.”

Alpha guys--as opposed to mere betas--are true leaders. Top of the heap. A-No. 1. At the risk of stepping on Wolf’s toes, allow me to offer the vice president this free advice: Forget about being an alpha male and shoot instead for being a mensch. The Yiddish word effectively means something more like A Real Man. A mensch, Mr. Vice President, doesn’t worry about the color of his suit, the part in his hair, his television Q rating or the caring tone of his official answers.

Mr. Vice President, a mensch is a courageous leader. A presidential candidate who is mensch would promise to put an end to rent-a-government campaign financing. He would tell his Democratic National Committee to cancel its plans to raise a record $200 million in soft money this election cycle. He would send back the millions in campaign checks written to him already by fat cat special interests. He would tell the American people that if there aren’t at least a million ordinary Americans willing to send him a maximum of $100 each, then he didn’t have enough support to be their president.

Mr. Vice President, a mensch is a provider. He would not stand by and make idle promises when he knows that 45 million of his people--11 million of them children--are bereft of any medical coverage. He would know that, in spite of the squealing of greedy insurance companies and hospitals-for-profit, he would not end his term as president without providing universal, guaranteed health care for the American people. Mr. Vice President, a mensch is someone who cares about his home and family.

In this turbulent global economy, a presidential mensch would employ the machinery of the U.S. government to defend the rights and future of ordinary working people here and abroad. He would fight for fair trade--and not free-trade giveaways to multinational corporations. He would make sure that international trade treaties would raise, not lower, the wage, health and environmental standards of workers on both sides of our borders. A mensch wouldn’t countenance for one minute the family-busting export of middle-class jobs. Nor would he stand for the continued existence of a single American-run sweatshop abroad--a Dickensian throwback devised to line the pockets of distant shareholders with the sweat of child labor.

Mr. Vice President, a mensch knows how to manage money. He would scrap a Cold-War sized military budget a full decade after the fall of the Berlin Wall. A mensch invests in his children. Money now wasted on unnecessary tanks and bombers would be reinvested in classrooms, books and child care centers. A mensch is forgiving and caring. He would know that conditions that lead people into a life of drugs and addictions must be addressed if the scourge of drugs is to be eliminated. He would know that A Real Man would not waste our precious resources on a failing multibillion-dollar war on drugs that virtually ignores treatment and rehabilitation while concentrating on punishment and repression. He would know that mandatory minimum sentences do nothing to abate drug addiction while progressively turning the United States into the world’s leading jailer.

In short, Mr. Vice President, becoming A Real Man--a mensch or, if you prefer, an alpha male--takes a lot more work than reworking your TV image. It would mean a sharp and bold departure from the timid policies that have marked the seven years of the Clinton-Gore administration. Frankly, Mr. Vice President, I hold little hope for this sort of transformation coming from you. Because, after all, a true leader doesn’t have to pay Wolf or anybody else $15,000 a month or $5,000 a month or even a nickel to tell him how to be A Real Man. A mensch is known as such by his deeds.