LAUGH LINES
Hoping to Win: Ex-Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith is seeking half of the estate of her billionaire husband, who was 89 when he died. “Smith claims she gave J. Howard Marshall II the best 14 months of her life.” (Paul Ecker)
Hoping to Win II: “The Lakers finished their preseason with a losing record. But that’s OK because the preseason is the time for experimenting with different plays, player combinations and frames for Jack Nicholson’s shades.” (Gary Easley)
No Hope Here?: Sweepstakes operator American Family Enterprises has filed for bankruptcy. “Dick Clark and Ed McMahon have received letters from the bank that begin, ‘You may already be a loser.’ ” (Kenny Noble Cortes)
*
The Essential
David Letterman
Top Al Roker Recurring Nightmares
10. Loses autographed photo of Sara Lee.
9. During five-day forecast, forgets how to point.
8. Has no mouth in a world where everything is made of waffles.
7. He’s chased around darkened studio by Gene Shalit’s homicidal mustache.
5. Temporarily unable to say, “Here’s what’s going on in your neck of the woods.”
4. Hellish apocalypse consumes mankind and he only predicted 20% chance of apocalypse.
*
Send us a line: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
Get our high school sports newsletter
Prep Rally is devoted to the SoCal high school sports experience, bringing you scores, stories and a behind-the-scenes look at what makes prep sports so popular.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.
