A Life That Can’t Be Judged by Its Ending

I’m not going to pretend here to make sense of Carlos Marchan’s death. It occurred not long after midnight Sunday when Orange County sheriff’s deputies shot him after he allegedly led them on a chase, then got out of his car and pointed a rifle at them on darkened Santiago Canyon Road.

Unless someone can show otherwise, it appears that Marchan provoked his own death. He was wanted for nothing other than speeding. Presumably, he had his reasons for taking things to the extreme, and maybe those will be revealed and it will be known why the 21-year-old played the endgame.

But a group of Marchan’s friends want to focus not on his death but the last few years of his life--when he proved himself a true friend and brought meaning to another tragic incident that enveloped him five years ago.

On Aug. 26, 1994, Marchan was in a car with three fellow members of the El Toro High School cross-country team. Their Honda ran a red light and was broadsided by another car. Marchan was in the back, right behind Tomas Mejia, a sophomore who was riding shotgun and took the brunt of the collision.

Of the four boys, Mejia--already a track star--was the most seriously hurt. Later, Carlos would be the only one of the four who remembered what happened. He remembered Tomas telling the driver to slow down. He remembered the crunching collision. He remembered Tomas being taken to a hospital where doctors diagnosed a severe brain injury from which, they said, Tomas would never recover.

There for a Friend

That proved somewhat true. Tomas survived but still suffers from the effects of the accident. A family friend says he has shown notable progress in the last year but, while physically mobile, has not recovered speech or many other brain functions. In the 5 1/4 years since the incident, Tomas has remained at home under his parents’ care.

And that is where Marchan proved his mettle.

Like some others in Mejia’s inner circle, Marchan (identified formally by authorities as Marchan-Sandoval) had become almost a permanent fixture around the Mejia home in Lake Forest.

Marcela Mejia, Tomas’s mother, is distraught over Marchan’s death. “It is very difficult to tell you about,” she says, before breaking up. “He came here almost every day to spend time with my son and daughter. He always told me he loved my son.”

He gave much more than lip service, friends say.

Sometimes, Carlos would come and stay for an hour or so. Sometimes, he would come and stay all day.

The Rev. James Curran, a Catholic priest who met the Mejia family after the accident, says Carlos was part of a tight group that never abandoned Tomas. He says he remembers times when Carlos, after helping Tomas go through rigorous physical exercises, would gently caress his friend’s hair.

An Emotional Person

“Carlos in the ninth grade was painfully shy,” Curran says. “Tomas was just the opposite. He was known for pushing his buddies to excel in school and sports. He dragged Carlos into things so he could meet people and learn English better.”

Tomas pulled Carlos into cross-country, where he also became an accomplished runner, competing even after recovering from painful injuries from the crash. Carlos, says Curran, was El Toro’s first recipient of an award named in Tomas’ honor.

Curran says he’s stunned by Carlos’ death. “It’s so out of character for him,” he says. “It shouldn’t overshadow the devotion to Tomas and Tomas’ family. Carlos was a deeply sensitive person, easily given to tears. . . . I’m not necessarily questioning the police account. I’m just morally opposed to the shoot-to-kill protocol. I find it morally reprehensible.”

A Sheriff’s Department spokeswoman referred further questions about the shooting to the district attorney’s office, which will investigate as a standard procedure. A spokesman there said it’s too early to comment on the case.

Friend Jose Lopez says that Carlos wasn’t violent and that the incident that led to his death was out of character for him.

“The only thing I know is that he was a really emotional person, which could lead to an irrational act,” Lopez says. “Other than that, he was a good guy, loved by everyone. I was one of the first friends who found out what happened. All his friends are shocked beyond belief. It’s hit everyone pretty hard.”

No one knows for sure whether Tomas will understand his friend’s death. But for Marcela Mejia, the shooting represents another searing tragedy.

“He knows how much we love him,” she says of Carlos. “He knows he was a very important part of our life. He knows everything.”

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing to him at the Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com