Just Shopping Around Ideas to L.A. Fans

Welcome to the inaugural Office Depot Notes Column. . . .

* A free pocket protector for Bob Toledo, for using his weekly news conference to say what everyone in this town is feeling.

“There’s a lot more pressure on them than us,” noted the UCLA football coach about USC. “We’ve got the streak. They’ve got to stop the streak.”

Such honesty from any football coach is stunning, even more so during a week in which a single overeager verb or anxious adjective can wind up on bulletin boards and in history books.

Maybe Toledo is subtly firing back at Paul Hackett for his bit of gamesmanship before last year’s game, when Hackett put the pressure on UCLA by saying his team had only a “slim” chance of winning and that UCLA had a lot at stake.

Of course, Hackett was right.

And so is Toledo, whose words subtly paint the colorful picture framed by this year’s meeting.

For the first time in a long time, this is not a game to determine which program has the better football team.

Considering both groups have been battered and beaten almost beyond recognition, this is a game to see which program has the bigger heart.

Even the Trojans must admit that few people outside their locker room think that team is USC.

The Trojans are favored, but how many people actually think they are going to win?

Here’s guessing that, beneath the annual key-rattling rhetoric, even most Trojan fans don’t think they are going to win.

If you don’t believe me, I’ve got some e-mail to show you.

After I wrote a column last week supporting Mike Garrett’s decision to give Hackett at least another season, my computer lit up with notes from angry Trojan boosters accusing me of being everything from an idiot to--they used exclamation points here--a Bruin alumnus.

In the wake of UCLA’s stunning upset of Washington last week, amid the sight of USC barely squeaking past Washington State, with one coach beloved and the other one harassed, there is something everyone needs to understand about Saturday afternoon.

There will be 90,000 people in the Coliseum at the opening kickoff, yet in some ways the USC football family will be very alone.

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* A protractor for Glen Rice, who is showing that maybe he deserves to stick around and have a chance to prove he has changed.

I couldn’t get rid of Rice fast enough last season, but this fall he’s a smarter, stronger, even more stable player.

Some might describe him simply as the type of player hoping for a big contract next year. Whatever the reason, suddenly he fits.

“Glen has shown a proclivity to find his way in this offense,” said Phil Jackson.

How will he do once Kobe Bryant returns?

One answer is, when both Rice and Shaquille O’Neal have been available for the entire game, the Lakers are 7-0.

Perhaps it is not O’Neal and Rice who must fit with Kobe.

Perhaps it is Kobe who must fit with them.

* Some “white out” for the Laker Girls, who this year do a dance routine with their chests covered in a beer advertisement.

What, no sandwich boards?

Nothing against cheerleaders who look like stock car drivers, but this will take some getting used to.

Apparently, it was not enough just to sell the Laker aura. Now the Laker Girls also have to sell alcohol, to a group that includes numerous children.

Of course, if companies really wanted some movement to their advertising buck, they would buy space on the outfits of this town’s best dance team, that being the Clipper Spirit.

* A copy machine for the Clippers, so they can make it official by giving a duplicate of their organizational plan to the Angels.

No manager yet? A general manager who was almost not hired because the owner initially didn’t trust the instincts of the guy hiring him?

Player cutting, cost cutting, an attempt to get younger and cheaper?

Right now, if you had a choice of season tickets between one of the two teams, the smart money would be on the Clippers.

* Blank cassette tapes so the other entity in town named after an office-supply company can tape noise at other arenas and pipe it in here.

Don’t get me wrong, the Superstore is a beautiful place, and even the worst seats hang out far enough to give you a decent view, even if it’s not a $21 view.

But I became convinced the place is just too cavernous to be loud when, the other night, the upper-deck fans began an apparently obscene chant directed toward Dallas Maverick Coach Don Nelson.

“Nelson [bleeps],” they were saying.

Only, by the time it got down to the floor, fans there could barely hear the bleep.

Please, Superstore, give us back our bleeps.

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* A glue stick for Dustin Hoffman, to make sure he keeps his seat.

Hoffman’s recent presence at the Superstore midcourt opposite Jack Nicholson and Dyan Cannon gives the Laker crowd the depth that is lacking in the Laker lineup.

* A magnifying glass for the Dodgers. Not for examining Latin American birth certificates, but for burning the contracts of the scouts who were supposed to examine documents for them.

While there are still many unknowns in the Dodgers’ alleged illegal signing of third baseman Adrian Beltre, this much is certain:

If they can’t figure out a way to keep him, they have been knocked flat before the opening bell.

The loss of Beltre--who could one day own this town as Mike Piazza once did--would be as big as the acquisition of Shawn Green.

As if Kevin Malone needs another challenge, but figuring a way out of this inherited mess could be his biggest hurdle yet.

* A gold pen for Sigi Schmid, for taking control of a moribund franchise and giving soccer a chance to win not only new fans, but a new stadium.

No offense to Phil Jackson or the Kings’ Andy Murray but, right now, the Galaxy’s Schmid is clearly the best pro coach in town.

* A giant eraser for me, for being silly enough to wade into Saturday’s scrum with a prediction.

That USC will win by a field goal in overtime.

By a final score of 108-105.

Bill Plaschke can be reached at his e-mail address: bill.plaschke@latimes.com.

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USC vs. UCLA: The 1960s

1960 USC, 17-6

1961 UCLA, 10-7

1962 USC, 14-3

1963 USC, 26-6

1964 USC, 34-13

1965 UCLA, 20-16

1966 UCLA, 14-7

1967 USC, 21-20

1968 USC, 28-16

*1969 USC, 14-12

*With a Rose Bowl berth on the line for both teams, USC quarterback Jimmy Jones threw a 32-yard touchdown pass to Sam Dickerson in the corner of the end zone.