Take My Baby-sitter . . . Please

Perhaps sensing a coming shortage of smart-aleck kids for TV sitcoms, Toni Attell held her first stand-up comedy classes for children six years ago. The group performs every Wednesday evening at Kindness of Strangers, a coffeehouse on Lankershim Boulevard in North Hollywood. Attell, at various times a professional mime, actress, hypnotherapist and manager, says her interest in kids--students range from first-graders to college age--began when the Los Angeles Theater Center asked her to create a mime and improvisational program. “Many of the children were from--shall we say--the scarier areas of town. I asked them to take their sad stories or difficult home environment and make it funny. Comedy comes from pain, and if children are given an avenue to express their frustration in a positive way, that can heal a lot of anxiety.

“I think that stand-up comedy for a 6-year-old is difficult,” admits Attell. “There are limits to their experience.” She insists that parents attend workshops with the children. “I’m not necessarily gearing [the kids] up for a life in show business; I just want them to be able to earn college money.”

The current group includes nonprofessionals, but many of the youngsters--several of whom Attell manages--already have cell phone or pager numbers, dedicated fax machines and agents.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

KID COMEDY

SHANIE CALAHAN, 11

Hometown: Manhattan Beach. Are girls or boys funnier? “Funniness to boys is a rude comment. To girls, it’s something that’s actually funny.” My very own TV show: “My life as a preteen middle-school girl. I like to read scripts that I can relate to. ‘Saved by the Bell’ doesn’t relate to my life at all. I don’t know anyone named Screech, my principal is a woman, um, there are always three [points] in a punch line, and I can’t think of [the last] one.” *

NICOLE “NIKKI” WEEKLEY, 10

Hometown: Garden Grove. Favorite one-liner: “My father is a surfer who wears a wetsuit. I don’t understand--it’s bad to wet your bed, but OK to wet your suit?” Are girls or boys funnier? “I think they’re the same.” My very own TV show: “A show about cats.”

*

NORA DAVIS, 10

Hometown: Hollywood. Are you the class clown? “Maybe once. When my friend who was the class clown was sick, I said something funny and the class laughed.” Are girls or boys funnier? “Sometimes boys think it’s funny when they burp or something, which girls don’t think is funny.” My very own TV show: “What do kids find funny and why? It would have people answering, and I would ask questions and be funny along the way.”

*

ALPHONSO MCAULEY, 20

Hometown: Chino. Favorite one-liner: “My family always bought generic food. So, for breakfast, instead of Trix, we got Treats. Instead of Life, we got Death.” Are you the class clown? “Yeah, when a situation comes up when I have to wiggle my way out with some kind of joke to distract the teacher.” Are girls or boys funnier? “I don’t like to be a sexist or whatever, but it’s kind of hard for me to find a woman who’s really funny. I’ve known a lot of funny women, but men dominate the comedy world.” My very own TV show: “It would probably be set up kind of like the ‘Jamie Foxx Show,’ only out of my present reality.”