TWO-MINUTE DRILL

BALTIMORE 34, CINCINNATI 31

From now on, all teams that play Bengals will be listed that week under “open date.”

TAMPA BAY 19, ATLANTA 10

Martin Gramatica is the star of the game. Is that grammatically correct?

NEW YORK JETS 17, BUFFALO 7

Jets are attempting a late surge so they can lose in the first round of the playoffs.

CAROLINA 31, CLEVELAND 17

Browns still winless at home. Fans in the Dawg Pound want discount on tickets because they feel neutered.

GREEN BAY 26, DETROIT 17

Coach Bobby Ross blames loss on the officials. Hey Bobby, do you own a mirror?

INDIANAPOLIS 44, PHILADELPHIA 17

First 50 to phone Eagles today will be put on roster for next Sunday. That’s how McNabb got the job.

MIAMI 27, NEW ENGLAND 17

Johnson says defense won game for Dolphins. Maybe that Marino guy should come back after all.

TENNESSEE 16, PITTSBURGH 10

Steelers complain about crowd noise in Nashville. That won’t be a problem when they play at home.

SEATTLE 31, KANSAS CITY 19

We’re going out on a limb, but this Holmgren guy has a future as the Seahawk coach.

CHICAGO 23, SAN DIEGO 20 (OT)

McNown, Leaf are seen talking. Probably not discussing what to get T.J. Simers for Christmas.

ARIZONA 13, DALLAS 9

Emmitt Smith doesn’t blame failure at end of game on broken hand. What kind of pro athlete is he?

WASHINGTON 23, NEW YORK GIANTS 13

Here’s a secret we’ll let all Giant fans in on: Kerry Collins is no good.

ST. LOUIS 23, SAN FRANCISCO 7

Does anyone feel sorry for 49ers after their years of dominance? Didn’t think so.

JACKSONVILLE 41, NEW ORLEANS 23

Going against Saint defense is just what the Jaguars needed.

MINNESOTA

An open date, which Randy Moss spends trying to get “Dukes of Hazzard” theme out of his head.