His Argument Just Doesn’t Stand Up

“City Talk,” Paramount’s newsletter, reports that a local who was brandishing a gun and threatening to shoot another man couldn’t understand why he was arrested. “I was just going to shoot him in the leg,” he explained.

STRANGE TIMING: So after meeting with the media Wednesday to mourn the selection of Houston over L.A. for the new pro football franchise, what did members of the Coliseum Commission do? Why, they held a wine and cheese reception at the same spot. The occasion was the unveiling of a plaque commemorating the restoration of the Coliseum from the damage suffered in the 1994 Northridge earthquake. I hope no party poopers pointed out that it will be a long time before pro football ticket holders ever see the marker.

THIS JUST IN: L.A. does have a new pro football team, after all. At least in the new suspense novel “The Jook” by Gary Phillips. The team is called the Barons and it even plays in the Coliseum. But the thuggish owners are scarier than the players.

TALK ABOUT HIGH COST PER SQUARE FOOT! How hot has real estate been this year in the Southland? Even the post office boxes are going for impressive prices, as this clipping from Bob Elliott of Newport Beach indicates (see accompanying).

ELVIS SIGHTING: Mariel Garza asked me to investigate an unusual marquee in Little Tokyo (see photo). I phoned and was told the store carries Elvis recordings as well as cat greeting cards and cat books. NO cat recordings, though.

HOW DO YOU BOX UP A BUILDING? Paula Pisani of Pasadena was amused to find a bookstore that had apparently moved “literally, what with nothing but tire tracks, an earthmover and a big empty space to show for it” (see photo).

ONLY IN ORANGE COUNTY: You may have heard the arguments that Orange County’s toll roads will reduce congestion elsewhere. But an electronic billboard along the 55 Freeway in Costa Mesa tried a more commercial appeal: “Need More Time to Shop? Take the Toll Roads.”

TAXING SITUATION: When last I spoke to Irvine accountant David Zweig, he related how one of his clients had been receiving letters from the State Franchise Tax Board demanding a payment, or else “a state tax lien may be filed against your property.”

The odd thing about the board’s demands was that the taxpayer’s bill listed a tax of $0.00, a penalty of $0.00, interest of $0.00, and fees of $0.00 for a grand total of $0.00 owed.

Finally, after several of his replies were ignored, Zweig sent the board a check for $0.00 (possibly the first time an accountant has personally paid a client’s tax bill).

And? After an item appeared in this column, a board rep contacted Zweig and admitted a mistake had been made.

And the $0.00 check?

“I never saw it again,” Zweig said. “I guess they didn’t cash it.”

miscelLAny:

Columnist Diane Bell of the San Diego Union-Tribune writes that the builders of the Padres’ new ballpark have received several design suggestions from fans, including a separate section for Dodger fans and a live shark exhibit. To which San Diego Councilman Juan Vargas said: “Put the Dodger fans in with the sharks.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.