Winning Dull Is Just Fine With Chargers
The local nurseries have probably already thought of it, piping in Charger games to put newborns to sleep.
But the city of San Diego has it all wrong. Forced to buy unsold tickets--an estimated 15,000 Sunday for a first-place battle with Seattle--the city then distributes them to good students, which is obviously an academic deterrent.
As a public service, why not fill the joint with dropouts, flunkies and the unmotivated? Punish them, make them squirm and cry for release, sentenced to a grueling afternoon of punts and turnovers: San Diego 13, Seattle 10 in Qualcomm Stadium.
Use this as a chance to straighten out the misguided youth of San Diego, subjecting them to three hours of piped-in noise, and see if they react to artificial stimuli like lab rats, chanting “Defense, defense” every time the scoreboard insists.
“You want an exciting game or you want first place?” Charger running back Natrone Means said.
The correct answer, of course, is entertainment, the reason there are any games in the first place, although it would be tough to sleep at night knowing the Chargers are not on top of the AFC West after five weeks.
Three hours of the Home Shopping Network offers more chills and thrills than these guys, who have scored one touchdown or less on offense in 26 of their last 37 games. Most teams field an offense to score touchdowns; the Chargers try to position a former Notre Dame kicker to boot field goals.
That’s not entertaining--that’s desperation. After doing his Irish imitation and missing from 42 yards in the first quarter, John Carney came back to hit from 28 and 41 yards--against a team coached by a former USC quarterback--the final kick coming on the final play of the game for the victory.
“Any time you go down to the wire and lose, it’s tough,” Seattle Coach Mike Holmgren said.
Translation: Any time you lose to a team that can’t score touchdowns, it’s a bummer.
“What a great game,” said Charger Coach Mike Riley, who apparently doesn’t get out often. “Defense stopped them time and again and we made just enough plays to go down and score and win.”
There was a time here when this was must-see-TV nationally with Air Coryell in full flight, Dan Fouts & Co. scoring touchdowns in bunches, the cannon they shoot off here after a score sounding more like a machine gun.
“Air Coryell didn’t have the defense,” Charger linebacker Junior Seau said. “If they score 50 or 55 points and they lose, now it’s entertainment? I’d rather take these wins.”
Play them behind closed doors then, and post the scores later on the Internet. Or at least make an attempt to locate the end zone more often. In the last 27 games, the Chargers have scored more than two touchdowns on offense two times.
While San Diego nods off, Coryell descendants are orchestrating the power surges in Washington and St. Louis, the fireworks a stirring contrast to what has become soccer-like football most everywhere else.
In the 85 games played to date this season, 95 times a team has failed to score at least 21 points. It’s like watching the Cleveland Cavaliers play basketball.
During timeouts here the public address announcer reminded (those needing a sedative) that they could tune into “Chargers Power Report” Monday night for a replay of the game’s highlights.
“It wasn’t pretty,” said Means, who averaged 2.1 yards a carry. “But we’ll take an ugly win any day.”
They have no other choice. Has-been Erik Kramer had four of his passes intercepted, and he plays for the Chargers, and his team won. The Chargers averaged 2.3 yards every time they ran the ball, and they are 4-1 and kings of the AFC West. And the Chargers don’t have a wide receiver who could start for San Diego State, which is why they have to have Seau become an eligible receiver in crucial offensive situations.
“There are games that we are going to win that aren’t pretty,” said Kramer, playing because Jim Harbaugh has cracked ribs. “But there will be games coming up that are going to be pretty.”
Sure, next week when Washington and Dallas play, and two weeks from now when the Rams take on the Titans in the biggest game of the season.
“I just have to take my hat off to all the defensive and offensive players sticking in there,” Seau said. “Whenever you play against a division opponent and win, it’d definitely something to hang your hat on. My hat goes off to the whole organization.”
Setting aside Seau’s hat fetish, the Seahawks have some explaining to do after doing their Charger imitation and scoring only one touchdown--a one-yard pass from Jon Kitna to tight end Itula Mili for a 10-7 lead in the third quarter. The Seahawks gained 24 yards on the final 15 offensive plays, punting with 1:46 to play, and giving the Chargers a chance to set up Carney for the game-winner.
“You have to take you hat off to them,” Seattle defender Cortez Kennedy said, capturing the excitement of the day.
Disagreeing, Holmgren said, “You have to tip your hat to San Diego.”
As a further public service, city officials should also make it mandatory for San Diego’s wayward youth to listen to the postgame chatter.
“We hung in there,” Means said. “When we had turnovers, our defense kept them out of the end zone. Hats off to those guys.”
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WEEK 6 SCORES
MIAMI 31, NEW ENGLAND 30
Huard leads comeback after Marino is sidelined by neck spasms. Page 5
DENVER 31, GREEN BAY 10
Griese stars as Favre falters in his worst game as a pro. Page 6
CAROLINA 31, SAN FRANCISCO 29
Panthers’ Seifert gets 100th victory against his former team. Page 6
ST. LOUIS 41, ATLANTA 13
Falcons slow down Warner, but Ram offense keeps rolling. Page 6
OAKLAND 20, BUFFALO 14
No magic Flutie comeback for Bills this time. Page 9
THE REST
* Detroit 25, Minnesota 23
* Indianapolis 16, N.Y. Jets 13
* Philadelphia 20, Chicago 16
* Tennessee 24, New Orleans 21
* Pittsburgh 17, Cincinnati 3
* Jacksonville 24, Cleveland 7
* Washington 24, Arizona 10