Stonewall Has Their Number

The joke goes like this: How do you get an old lady to yell “Damn!”?

Get another old lady to yell “Bingo!”

Sure, bingo conjures up images of smoky Elks clubs. Bingo is the terrain of your great-aunt’s cronies, each armed with 120 ounces of RC Cola and a bright-colored felt dauber. Bingo means spending hour upon hour listening to the drone of the number caller, plopping down $20 to win $10. B-I-N-G-O was a dog, oh, for a very good reason.

It’s amazing what the addition of a smart-mouthed drag queen can do.

Thursday night Dollar Bingo at the Stonewall Gourmet Cafe in West Hollywood is not your great-aunt’s bingo--though she’d probably enjoy this version. Created by “Bingo Boy” Jeffery Bowman, a writer-turned-bingo-entrepreneur, the rambunctious night is hosted by the lovely Belle-Aire or Belle-Aire’s “drag daughter,” Desiree La Femme. Celebrity number callers like Gedde Watanabe (“Gung Ho”), Bruce Vilanch (“Hollywood Squares”), Estelle Getty, Jean Smart and Tippi Hedren add to the hilarious stew.

At Stonewall, bingo is an interactive game. Belle-Aire yells out, “What’s our favorite vitamin shot?” “B-12!” shouts back the crowd. “Not malignant but. . . .” “B-9!” is the happy response. The scene has the feel-good neighborhood vibe that surrounds most bingo nights, but the crowd is better dressed. Instead of those huge RC bottles, tall, blended iced mochas are the preferred beverage. And this game is a charitable event, rather than a cheesy chance at winning a few bucks.

“There would be more people here,” claimed Bowman as he surveyed the packed room on a recent night, “but the premiere of ‘Friends’ was tonight.”

Bowman used to work on charity projects for AIDS Project Los Angeles, so when Michael D’Addio, Stonewall’s owner, approached him 18 months ago about staging a weekly event at the cafe, he drew on his experience with an earlier charity bingo night. To date, $50,000 has been raised for organizations such as Children’s Hospital, the Brittany Foundation and the Turkish Earthquake Victim Relief Fund.

“I think we need more low-cost community-based fund-raising events like this,” he says. “For a dollar a card, people can come here and have a great time, unlike big charity balls that are geared to the wealthy and have little to offer the small contributor.”

But where’s the joy in shouting “Bingo!” if there’s no payout? In lieu of cash prizes, Bowman has plenty of entertainment biz promotional items to give away. Movie T-shirts, key chains and CDs are the prizes--with plenty of sarcastic drag queen lip service accompanying each win. Some nights, Stonewall gives away dessert samples. And, if charity, camaraderie and general fun aren’t enough to seduce attendance, Stonewall also just became the first West Hollywood purveyor of that dubious gastronomic sensation, Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

Bowman clearly enjoys his local celebrity status. Plans are underway to produce Bingo Boy T-shirts and coffee mugs. He also claims that copycat drag queen bingo games have sprung up in places as far-flung as Montana--a state not generally known for men wearing pumps.

West Hollywood remains a model of that type of neighborliness that seems to be fading from big-city environs. While many activities in WeHo feel exclusive to gays and lesbians, the crowd at Stonewall is all-encompassing: straight and gay, young and not-so, famous and the rest of us.

In this small corner of the universe, the silly game brings together people of diverse backgrounds and lifestyles. Who knows? Bingo may be the new calling card of acceptance.

BE THERE

Bingo at Stonewall Gourmet Cafe, Thursdays, 8 p.m., 8717 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, (310) 659-8009.