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Alyson

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Dana and Jason Harris were newlyweds who lived in the Sherwood Apartment Complex. They’d been married for about a year when Dana had her first baby. They named her Alyson, and she was a rather unusual looking baby. Her head was pointed more than normal, and her eyes were as black as jet. She never cried; as a matter of fact, she never showed any emotion. As Alyson grew up, her parents realized that she was odder than they first thought. She sat alone all day long muttering in what sounded like gibberish. The weird thing was that she growled the same phrase over and over: “Vakalagh oleah rutgen paz.”

As Alyson approached school age, she positively refused to attend school. When she was forced into the car, she would take all her clothes off and throw them out the window on the freeway so that she wouldn’t have to go. Another odd thing that Alyson did was eat alone. She never ate with her parents. Late at night, she would sneak into the kitchen and eat butter by the spoonfuls, raw meat and hot sauce. Her parents were aware of these late-night excursions but were clueless as to what they should do. They became frustrated with the entire situation and abusive toward Alyson. They yelled profanities at her and locked her in the closet. The abuse invoked no response from Alyson except the repeated uttering of her special phrase, “Vakalagh oleah rutgen paz,” in a louder growl.

As the years went by, Alyson grew progressively worse. By the time she reached 16, she was absolutely intolerable. The doctors finally put her into the Torrey Pines Institution for the Criminally Insane. The doctors at the institution studied Alyson’s behavior for three months before they heard the news; Dana and Jason died in a tragic car accident on the way to the institution. Their mangled bodies were found piece by piece, even though not all the pieces were accounted for. At the same time, the police found the cause of the accident. A small possum had run onto the freeway, and Jason swerved to avoid it, running his car off the road in the process.

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The doctors chose not to reveal the information to Alyson for fear she would regress further into her zombie-like state. An astounding revelation was made the day after the accident. Alyson seemed to be coming out of her shell. She walked around with a smile of sheer joy and a bounce in her step. She still didn’t talk, however. She used body language to indicate her emotions. She still kept to herself, but the improvement was tremendous.

One year passed when one of the nurses smelled something overpoweringly disgusting coming from Alyson’s room. She searched until she discovered the source of the stench. Three fingers and a toe rested neatly in a metal box under the bed. The staff at the institution went crazy, searching all the patients in the ward for missing appendages. They found none. This was the worst enigma that the institution had ever faced. They finally discovered the owners of the parts, Dana and Jason Harris. The staff was positive that Alyson hadn’t left the facility since she had arrived due to 24-hour surveillance cameras. That afternoon, news came to the main doctor at the institution. An ancient Greek interpreter had decoded Alyson’s phrase. The interpreter was confused by the translation, but the people at the Torrey Pines Institution for the Criminally Insane knew exactly what it meant. The translation was: Watch out for possums.

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