Why This Curious Urge to Memorialize the Non-Dead?

If they can name parks after Roger Stanton and Harriett Wieder, why not a crime lab after Brad Gates? At least Gates worked in law enforcement. He knew his way around a crime lab. To my knowledge, neither former county Supervisor Stanton nor ex-Supervisor Wieder was ever a park attendant.

Yet, they got their parks at the behest of local residents. Stanton almost got a street in Fountain Valley too, but that idea died.

Mindful of all that, the Board of Supervisors went ahead Tuesday and enshrined former Sheriff Gates, agreeing to put his name on a forensic science center building that’s part of the Sheriff’s Department complex.

Never more appealing than when he’s in his “aw, shucks” mode, Gates says he didn’t get into the business to have his name put on a building. I believe him--I think he got into it to get free helicopter rides--but then I got to thinking: Why are public officials always angling to build more facilities?

Is it to help the public or, deep down, are they hoping that someone will name the place after them? It couldn’t have escaped Gates that his predecessor, James Musick, got his name on a jail.

You probably think I’m some bitter, wretched loser who’s jealous because my name will never go on a building.

Well, I’m not. So there. I don’t even want my name on my mailbox.

Nor am I outraged or even upset that Gates’ name will be forever in lights. It’s not as though there will be a steady stream of tourists filing through the forensics building. It’s not as though they named the Hall of Administration cafeteria after him.

So no, I’m not petty. I’m just curious where the urge comes from to memorialize public officials, especially those still alive.

Gates is not exactly the cuddly “Everybody Loves Raymond” sort of guy. He won elections easily because no one wanted to run against him. But it’s not like he was an avuncular, beloved county figure like . . . well, me, for example.

Time heals everything, though, and presumably that’s part of the reason the Board of Supervisors voted a few years ago not to name things after living people. Knowing it’s tacky to knock the deceased, the supes probably figured they’d wait until a person died before putting his name on a building.

That policy has lasted a good long, oh, four years.

First chance they get, what do the supervisors do? They name a building after a non-dead person.

Yes, Gates is still with us, finding there is life after the 24 years as sheriff that ended with the 1998 election. And yes, I accept the idea that the big galoot deserves credit for bringing the department into the modern era, but if you’re going to be sheriff for a generation, how can you help it?

The sheriff had plenty of enemies, though, both personal and political. Name a building after him, and you’re automatically offending a percentage of Orange County taxpayers.

When you get right down to it, it’s kind of arrogant for a handful of supervisors to bestow such an honor on someone, assuming you’re the kind of person honored by such things.

Maybe it’d be better to have some kind of countywide newspaper or Internet poll, posing the question as to whether someone deserves a building or not.

Too late for that. Gates is in.

But wouldn’t it be better for a county that could always use more cash to consider a ban on linking buildings and people? How about getting with the modern era and luring corporate sponsors?

Some obvious business/governmental synergies exist.

How about the Hewlett-Packard Forensics Center?

Or, if Orange County voters ever approve the new jail Gates wanted so badly, how about “Barnes & Noble County Jail,” with this slogan:

“Grab a book, sit down and stay a spell.”

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by calling (714) 966-7821 or by writing him at The Los Angeles Times, Orange County, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626, or by e-mail to dana.parsons@latimes.com

* RULE IS NO BAR TO NAME CHANGE

Waiving a policy, county supervisors agree to name a crime lab building after ex-Sheriff Brad Gates.B7