What It Takes to Be Revered in New England

Dan Shaughnessy in the Boston Globe, exulting over the Red Sox’s recent series sweep of the Yankees and the Patriots’ victory over the New York Jets:

“We are New Englanders. New York is all things rude, evil, powerful and loud. It takes our best, laughs, and never looks back. It dismisses us. That’s what’s so infuriating. We hate New York, but Gotham doesn’t give us much thought at all.

“And that is why [Sunday] was one of the greatest days in the history of New England.”

More Shaughnessy: “It simply doesn’t get any better. If you are a New Englander working in a brokerage house or law firm, or studying in a college dorm, you are sick of obnoxious New Yorkers rubbing it in your face.

” . . . They forever ruined clam chowder, polluting it with tomatoes, then had the gall to call it Manhattan clam chowder.”

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Trivia time: Through Thursday, Sammy Sosa had hit 59 homers and the Chicago Cubs had 58 victories, meaning that Sosa could become the first player to hit more home runs than his club has victories. Who came the closest?

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Strong opinion: Bill Conlin in the Philadelphia News, on the floundering Phillies giving Manager Terry Francona a contract extension through 2002: “Giving Francona three more years is like giving Saddam Hussein the Nobel Peace Prize the day after the Republican Guard invaded Kuwait.”

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Beware of nines: From the Gallery column of the San Diego Union-Tribune: “Shane and Lane Myers, 15-year-old identical twins who play for Refugio [Texas] High . . . both broke their left ankles in the same JV game, two minutes apart.

“It happened on Sept. 9--a.k.a. 9-9-99.”

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Just plain Debbie: Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “These were some of the women entered in the 200 meters at a track meet in Berlin last week: Sevatheda Fynes, Susanthika Jayasinghe and Fatima Yusuf. The winner was Debbie Ferguson.”

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Journeyman: Steve Rosenbloom in the Chicago Tribune: “The AFC West starts Elvis Grbac, Brian Griese, Jon Kitna, Rich Gannon and Jim Harbaugh at quarterback.

“Makes you feel embarrassed for complaining about the Shane Matthews-Cade McNown thing.”

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Trivia answer: Wally Berger of the 1935 Boston Braves hit 34 home runs while his club was winning only 38 games.

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And finally: New York Jet Coach Bill Parcells, on wearing the same sweatshirt, shorts, socks and sneakers three consecutive days: “Hey, I showered.”