A Place in the Heart
Some were drawn by fantasies, then held by memories. Others were just passing through but fell in love and stayed. Some know nothing else, have never called any other place home. And many left but then came back, looked around and found life here too good to trade.
This is not paradise, Southern California. But, for better or worse, it is our home.
It is too crowded, too smoggy. Schools are failing, children are at risk. Housing costs are high. Or so say those national surveys that rank Southern California low on lists of desirable places to live and raise a family.
We know all that, and still we stay.
Because we remember what it was like when orange groves and horse ranches dotted the land, and kids could walk to the beach alone. Because we like to picnic in December and swim in February. Because we appreciate the majesty of the mountains, the vastness of the deserts, the power of the ocean.
We might curse our commutes and long for the small towns of our fantasies. But we rejoice in the comfort of our neighborhoods and cherish the fellowship of our friends.
We might worry for the safety of our children. But we can think of nowhere else with such a rich mix of cultures and people.
And so we stay. Because for all its flaws, its promises undelivered upon, each day in Southern California seems ripe with possibilities that make it hard to walk away.
Hundreds of you answered our question: Why do you call Southern California home? Here are excerpts from some of your letters:
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Once, at a college reunion in the Midwest, a classmate asked, “What’s it like raising children in Hollywood?”--in a tone suggesting Hollywood was synonymous with Sodom and Gomorrah.
“Just like raising them in Hoboken or Harrisburg,” I responded, not bothering to tell them I actually lived in North Hollywood. “Only, we don’t have harsh winters or humid summers!”
My husband and I live in Southern California because he moved here with his family, and I followed my heart. Although we were both born and raised on the East Coast, I don’t know that we consciously chose to live in Southern California, but we did make a conscious decision to stay.
BARBARA TRAFFICANDA
Tarzana
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A small percentage of troublemakers would have this entire region stereotyped and labeled as a poor place to raise children. Those few try to ruin it for the many.
While life is different now than it was a generation ago . . . Southern California is still the hope of the world.
HARVEY STARR
Yorba Linda
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Money. We’re here because of my husband’s income.
When I was a kid in Torrance, I could walk to the beach or to the store with friends and life seemed much safer.
When I became a parent, I began a very strident campaign to move, believing that somewhere else we could provide a better, safer place to raise our kids. I’ve come to realize that there is no magic place and you have to make it work wherever you are.
I’d still love to move; however, I try to focus on the positive and make the most of the lifestyle here--camping, beaches, museums, great weather, friends and family. It really comes down to what you do as a family.
JACKIE J. BEHR
Lomita
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I’m a second-generation Californian. My roots are here--there is such history from the early part of the century when my grandparents settled in Pasadena. Their stories are vivid in my mind; they purchased a beachfront cottage in Manhattan Beach in the 1930s for $500. They felt that “someday it might actually be worth something.”
But . . . the dream is fading. Traffic, overpopulation, high property values, pollution, crime, a failing school system, all contribute to the decline.
For this family, it’s the weather and job market that keep us here. It’s August and the temperature is in the 70s; the beach is close as well as the mountains.
PATTI SCHEUER
Irvine
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I grew up in Culver City from 1955 to 1974, a time when Culver City had a very small-town feel within the big city.
When I became a parent, I bought into the conventional wisdom that SoCal was no place to raise a kid anymore, so I moved my family to Palm Desert, then ultimately to the Tahoe-Reno area. Although those areas were beautiful, what we realized was that this region offers so much for families, and that other areas, such as the ones we chose (for their physical beauty), were not with the times as far as developing family-oriented communities.
We chose to return to south Orange County, and we couldn’t be happier.
DENNIS SCHROEDER
Lake Forest
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My parents came here during the Depression. My father was a veterinarian in Pasadena and my mother played in the Pasadena Symphony Orchestra.
We love the area, its history, architecture, trees, museums, restaurants, theater and its proximity to Los Angeles. We love running into people we have known all our lives and meeting diverse new friends.
So much of California has changed, but most of Pasadena has maintained its beauty and integrity. We’re not ready to move away any time soon.
VALERIE READ
Pasadena
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To me, the present-day caution with which children and parents must live is heartbreaking. Exploration should be the heart of a great childhood.
We must band together in Southern California to rebuild the “neighborhood.”
PAT WATSON
Canoga Park
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A generation ago life was different. We had horses and dune buggies. Our property faced a big horse ranch with the railroad beyond that. We had a walnut tree with a three-story treehouse where neighborhood kids gathered all the time. It was the ideal place to raise kids.
Now it is surrounded by apartments and freeways. Yet my property is still the place all my kids and their friends call home.
RUTH JONES
Reseda
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I moved to Southern California and started a family for one reason--the excitement! Just look at how we dominate our daily national news media . . . drive-by shootings, homeless incidents, freeway killings, drug-related shootouts.
My boys are learning by example how to dodge random gunfire, how to let high-speed pursuit convoys pass, where to stand when the ground moves. . . .
What a great place!
The excitement here makes up for all the other deficiencies, such as poor education scores, high tax rates, burgeoning urban sprawl and a bureaucracy second to none.
Actually, I’m raising my family here because of the unreal surf and great weather conditions.
QUENTIN PARKER
Pacific Palisades
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Three generations in my family thought that it would be a good idea to raise their children here. It started with the fact that we were in the entertainment industry, and for many years, this was the only place to live if that was your chosen profession.
Yes, we (as a city) have our problems, but then, who doesn’t? Any group of two or more will have problems. Ever notice that when you watch the Rose Parade, you are thrilled to be here? In sunlight and warmth.
STEPHENIE HOPE
Valley Village
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I think Southern California is a good place for single adults but bad for kids. I realize that there are positive aspects of living in Southern California, such as experiencing a lot of cultural diversity, but the negative outweighs the positive. The children here grow up too fast and experience things that they shouldn’t be experiencing until they are much older.
LILLIAN LEE
Monterey Park
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I grew up here from age 10, when it was beautiful, no smog and the weather was wonderful. Met my husband here and we decided to live in Monterey Park because it was . . . near his office, near downtown and all the freeways. My kids grew up here and then split for places far away. The atmosphere changed, the people changed, the smog grew worse. By that time, we were caught up in the way of life here, so we never did anything about leaving.
TONI JACOBSON
Alhambra
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We live in Orange County because it’s home!
We were born here. My husband’s family came here via stagecoach, my parents as children.
We now live near the beach because we need to for reasons we cannot always explain. Perhaps it is because 16 surfboards and three boats and a life lived in shorts, sandals and Hawaiian shirts would make us stand out like freaks anywhere north of the 405.
MEG TWEEDY
Costa Mesa
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It’s a disservice to see L.A. as one big bad statistic. In this sprawling urban quilt, everyone chooses and lives in and cultivates their own piece of it.
My husband, our infant daughter and I live in West Toluca Lake. We have block parties, Christmas parades, and hold neighborhood watch meetings.
It’s up to us to raise our children to respect others, to value life and learning, and to rise above the fear and bad hype. My daughter, I’m proud to say, is an L.A. native. I can’t wait to take her to the local Bob’s Big Boy for her first burger. Or perhaps a hot dog at Pink’s or a French dip at Philippe’s?
What a dilemma. Gee, I wish I could grow up in Southern California.
--LAURA CHARELIAN
West Toluca Lake
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After a grueling train trip from the Bronx, I arrived in Los Angeles on Labor Day 1943. I immediately knew that I was never going back. Blue skies, green lawns and pure air. For a young woman from the “Big City,” this was paradise. I married, had three children.
Lived in Boyle Heights until 1959 ... Our yearly vacation was to the “country”--the San Fernando Valley.
SHIRLEY ERENBERG
Valley Glen
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Moving from a Kansas farm to the San Gabriel Valley in 1954 and changing from a high school of 60 to 3,000 students was total culture shock.
The first summer here was very disappointing. The smog burned my eyes, smelled horrible and obscured the sky; everything looked ugly. I was terribly homesick. Where was the Golden State I’d heard about all my life?
Then I was in a marching band in the 1955 Rose Parade, had a free seat in the rain at the bowl game. I made friends and learned to love the weather, nearby mountains, beach and desert. I became a confirmed Southern Californian, married and raised a son.
My husband and I sometimes long for the green rolling hills of the Eastern states, but our son and his family are nearby. Our lives are here, for better and for worse.
ALICE BRENNAN
Placentia
