Don’t Learn the Hard Way, Parents

It was so tragic, and so needless: A Santa Ana woman stepped into her bathroom, leaving her infant son with her two other small children. Somehow the baby got outside to a balcony and fell three stories to his death.

You have to wonder if this horror would have been avoided if the mother had attended some type of parenting class. Because all those classes stress one absolute:

You never, ever leave a baby unattended by an adult.

“Not even for one second,” said Lori Fernandez, who manages child-care programs for Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian. “If you leave the room for any reason, you carry the baby in your arms. You need to go to the bathroom, you put the baby in its crib. If it screams, too bad. It’s safe.”

Any new parents--single mothers, single fathers or couples--can benefit from parenting classes, no matter their economic circumstances.

“I saw a woman leave here in a Mercedes-Benz without putting a baby in a car seat,” Fernandez said. “When we pointed out the danger, she said, ‘It’s OK, we’re only going to Lido Isle.’ ”

Two of my married colleagues, about to have a baby, are planning on a parenting class. You can check with almost any hospital in Orange County, or with county health officials, to find a parenting class that suits your needs.

The Orange County Child Abuse Prevention Program puts together a popular “Welcome Baby” class for any parents, so don’t think there’s a stigma because of the sponsor. The program sends trained volunteers to your home once a week for three weeks. Kathy McCarrell, executive director for the child abuse program, said parents are given a written test on infant safety before it begins. When the sessions end, they’re tested again; more than 95% show significant improvement in infant safety knowledge, McCarrell said.

Planned Parenthood of Orange County refers many of its clients to a Fullerton-based program called FACES, which operates six parenting classes a week (including two in Spanish).

FACES stresses that infants can be affected by tension between parents. Better parenting, said Executive Director Mary Harris O’Connell, can sometimes mean getting along better as a couple.

Sometimes all we need is a reminder how vulnerable babies can be.

“We teach at our classes that babies are like little Houdinis,” said Fernandez of Hoag. “Take your eye off them one second and they’re into things you’d never dream they’d find.”

If you can’t take a class, at least try the Internet. Here’s a Web site loaded with good reminders: https://www.childwithin.com. A sampling:

* Water safety for infants doesn’t just mean keeping them out of the Pacific. Backyard wading pools, fish tanks and even mop buckets have resulted in infant tragedies.

* Keep babies out of the laundry room. Detergent dust does spill onto the floor, and most brands are highly toxic.

* Yes, you’ve childproofed your house. But what happens when you take your baby to visit someone else? Here’s a terrific Web site tip: Some parents carry those little plastic covers for electrical outlets when they take their baby to visit someone else.

One chilling observation came from O’Connor of FACES. Some parents, she said, become so stressed by child care that they head to the bathroom as a chance to take a break from it all.

Maybe so. But we know it can produce tragic results.

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Readers may reach Hicks by calling (714) 564-1049 or e-mail to

jerry.hicks@latimes.com.