You Don’t Hear Gretzky Talking About ‘My Kings’

Wayne Gretzky, hockey superstar turned rookie columnist, says he has no regrets about his retirement, especially now that training camp has opened.

The Great One, who admits to not being in the best physical shape, says he will use his new column in the National Post to address Canadian hockey issues.

“In coming weeks, I’ll be talking about junior hockey and minor hockey as well as the NHL. I’ll be keeping tabs on all those excellent ideas that came out of the Open Ice summit--especially those suggestions that can put a little much-needed creativity back into the game.”

Gretzky said the NHL recognizes the importance of Canadian franchises to the league and is committed to their survival. He added that the six Canadian franchises have his unwavering support.

“Teams like the Ottawa Senators, Calgary Flames and, of course, my Edmonton Oilers are vital to the league.”

*

Trivia time: Name the last player to lead the National League in home runs two consecutive seasons.

*

The Big Rap: Skip Bayless in the Chicago Tribune on Frank “Big Hurt” Thomas of the White Sox: “[Thomas] has now become a 270-pound dead weight around this up-and-coming team’s neck. . . . Thomas, with his semiretired attitude, reinforced by a contract running through 2006, continues to stunt his team’s growth.

“The Big Squirt is the cream-filled center of this team’s chemistry problems.”

*

High expectations: Since 1970, the NFL has had 708 field goals of 50 yards or more. Of those, 40 have been kicked in the thin air of Denver’s Mile High Stadium, the most in any park.

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald offers a solution: “Raise every stadium atop man-made, 5,000-foot mountains.”

*

Trivia answer: Dale Murphy, Atlanta Braves, 1984-85.

*

And finally: Even Michael Jordan couldn’t come back from this big of a deficit.

The former Chicago Bull superstar shot a 10-over-par 81 Thursday in the second round of the Chicago Open, and missed the cut at the 54-hole event by 15 shots.

Jordan, who shot an opening-round 84, arrived at the course less than an hour before his scheduled tee time Thursday and appeared relaxed. He talked with fans and leisurely smoked a cigar while hitting balls at the driving range.

Jordan and playing partners Michael O’Connell and Dave Ryan teed off in front of a gallery of about 100 spectators, nearly half of them children.

As he waited his turn to putt, he talked with his young followers.

“Skipping school today?” Jordan said with mock seriousness. “I’m telling on all you guys.”